Having the Difficult Conversations…& Marriage Seminars

Tags

assertive, difficulties, love, marriage, Relationship, work

The past few weeks for me have been taken up with having difficult conversations, getting back into writing, learning new things on my job, and more marriage seminar things. Needless to say, it’s not been an easy few weeks.

It can be hard for me to vocalize what I want (hard to believe, I know, when in writing I have an opinion on everything), especially when it comes to relationships. In relationships, you can’t just state what you want and move on; you have to clarify, listen to what the other person wants, make a decision on how to handle any conflicts; it gets stressful. But those conversations have to be had, whether it’s the “where is this going?” conversation, the “this isn’t going anywhere” conversation or the “this is what I want; are you on the same page?” conversation.

I’ve had difficult conversations at work and in my relationship this month. There’s just something about the first month of a new year that inspires evaluation and discussion. Everyone wants to know where they are so they can plan where they are going. Direction becomes so important.

As I’ve said many times before, I can understand how people can become caught up in the ring and planning the ceremony, etc., but for me, it’s about the relationship. However, you do need to get married for the marriage relationship to start. I’ve struggled with walking the fine line between being in a relationship with someone and being “committed” to it while not falling into having a pseudo-marriage relationship outside of marriage. I also don’t want to be in a relationship forever without getting married. I don’t idly date; I am in a relationship to get married. But how long is too long to be in a relationship with no ring? These are the things that I’ve been dealing with.

As my job situation begins to become more settled, I am taking on more and more tasks/responsibilities. I am dealing with inner office relationships and learning the chain of command, who is supposed to handle what, what I need to run by who before it gets done, what’s a priority and what gets put off for things that are priority. Going from being a “department of one” as far as day to day interaction, to a shared resource between two departments has called for a steep learning curve and some review of business etiquette.

Our church has decided to dedicate every fourth Wednesday to a discussion on Marriage and Family as a way to continue the marriage and family workshop. Last night, we went through the vows and what they actually mean, whether individuals really understand what they are signing up for. On top of having difficult relationship conversations this whole month, this really helped me to put things into perspective. I left with a lot to think about and a lot to decide on.

As uncomfortable as some of the discussions have been, as much as I’ve wanted to avoid some of these discussions a little longer because I didn’t know how it would turn out, I’m proud of my new proactiveness and assertiveness.

More Later…

2blu2btru

Monday Motivation: What Are You Waiting For?

Tags

consistency, dillgence, discipline, patience, perseverance, waiting

There are some things in life you have to wait for, no matter how many times you may think you can’t wait. How many times have we said:

• I can’t wait for the weekend
• I can’t wait until I’m 18/21
• I can’t wait until I have my own place

We can get a little impatient sometimes, can’t we? Then there are things that we say we can’t wait for when in reality, all we have to do is stop waiting and start doing. How many people are still waiting for a better job, waiting to finish school to start a career, waiting until their kids grow up to pursue an interest, waiting to be married or waiting to have more money to purchase or experience things? I’m not saying that these can’t be legitimate reasons, but when do they become excuses not to act?

There’s a fine line between waiting for things that will come to you and being stalled in situations you can move on from if you just put in the effort. Waiting can be a good thing. Good things come to those who wait. Those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. Patience is a virtue. We all know these things. But some things require action.

My encouragement for you today is to evaluate the things that you are waiting for in an honest manner. Are there things that you can be doing now to help ensure you achieve success, no matter how small they seem? If you want a self-hosted site but don’t have the money, you can start small by buying the domain name. If you want to publish a book, start by writing a little a day, or revising a little a day, or sending queries to so many agents a day, or learning so much about self-publishing a day. If you want to go on an amazing trip or fund an emergency fund, start with $5-10 a week or a paycheck. Those little things will begin to add up.

Yes, there are some things that will only come with time: maturity, reaching a certain age, obtaining a degree, getting married, etc. But even these things we work on and contribute to long before they come to fruition. Are you investing any capital? If not, time alone will not yield much of a return for you.

What are you waiting for?

XOXO

2blu2btru

As always, feel free to leave a comment in the comments section or email me at 2blu2btru4u@gmail.com

Related articles

• ‘Yes, It Is a Long Process’ (makingbabygrand.com)
• Self Analysis (reachingforpink.wordpress.com)
• A Year of Great Change (jostentaylor.wordpress.com)
• Learning The Art Of Patience (clutchmagonline.com)
• Timing is everything (adorninc.wordpress.com)
• Wait Patiently (thedistinctdot.com)

Freestyle Friday: What I Read

Tags

Freestyle Friday

Good morning! It’s been a while since I’ve done a Freestyle Friday, but I wanted to try and do one (quickly) this morning about what I read. I’m terribly behind on commenting, and on some sites I never comment, but I wanted to share a few of the sites I like to read:

Black and Married With Kids

Marriage Confessions

Skinny Runner

After I Quit My Day Job (Now called Fieldwork in Stilettos)

Sepia Says

Simply Solo

…and many more. I will shout out more blogs next Friday. Happy Friday everyone.

Relationship Tip: The Date Night Jar

Tags

adventurous, coupons, date night, relationship tip, trying something new

I was talking with a co-worker about how there doesn’t seem to be much to do in our area besides go out to clubs (which I don’t like) or go to the movies (which I LOVE, but sometimes a girl wants to do something different). She told me about a coupon book that had really good deals on different things to do in Orlando. She let me use a few of hers before they expired (which is how I FINALLY got to go to the Titanic Experience on New Year’s Eve), and I had to admit, I had a good time.

Recently, the same co-worker bought the 2011 edition of the coupon book and told me about a neat little idea she and her boyfriend use to create date nights. They cut out all of the coupons of activities they are interested in doing and put them in a jar. For their date night, they pick an activity from the jar and go do it. That way, they get to try something different, at a discounted price, and keep a little adventure in their date nights.

I thought this was such a great idea, I had to share it. You can order a coupon book for you area online. They aren’t expensive, (the one she has is $16) and the savings can be up to buy one admission, get one free (as was the Titanic Experience). The book is also filled with coupons for food, both fast food and classier dining options. Many of the finer establishments I’d never even known were here. It’s a great way to discover what there is to do in your city if you aren’t already “in the know,” or a way to find something different.

So, one of my first relationship tips of 2012 is to be adventurous and try something new. The date night jar may just be the thing to open you up to new experiences together (that don’t involve stuffing your face in a darkened theater or chugging drinks in sole-crushing shoes). Take pictures and share all the fun!

XOXO

2blu2btru

Related articles

• Be Mine on a Dime – 6 ways to have affordable romance this Valentine’s Day (theinsider.retailmenot.com)

The Point of it All…

Tags

Bridezilla, communication, love, relationships, selfishness, Wedding

I bet some of you were wondering what the real point of yesterday’s post was. It wasn’t to drag your poor man through the bridal shop or ring shopping, or to make a playlist like you’re a DJ (or Disk Jockey, as Pink Susie insists on saying). The point is, wedding things are addictive.

I’ve never understood all the fuss, the bridezillas, the “it’s all about the bride,” the obsession over the ring. I’ve always been focused on before and after the wedding, on finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and actually spending the rest of your life with them. I only vaguely acknowledged the ceremony beyond wanting to wear the whitest white I can find and wanting to be married in a church (and of course, the playlist).

But Saturday, I caught a bit of the wedding fever (prematurely, of course). I was thinking about dresses, wedding bands, neat little guestbook ideas (like the photo booth thing), sensual underwear…all that wedding day stuff. When we came back, we discussed colors, whether or not we wanted a unity candle, whether or not we want to jump the broom, picked our favorite songs for a playlist, talked about a possible venue, how many people in a wedding party. Then my thoughts yesterday centered on things like save the dates, invitations, bridal party gifts and wedding favors. It was wedding overload, but on my (possible) wedding.

If Mr. Perfect and I do tie the knot, it won’t be a long, 12-18 month engagement as is typical now; it will be at most six months (depending on venue). It doesn’t hurt, then, to have some ideas beforehand. But the best thing about our hypothetical planning venture, aside from both of us getting to have a little input in usually restricted areas (he in the gown and I in the ring), is the fact that we were doing it together.

The truth is, I still don’t understand bridezillas and the “it’s all about the bride” mentality. The wedding is one of the first real tests of how you will handle conflict and difference of opinion in your relationship. If it makes Mr. P. happy, I can concede and let him play Wu Tang’s “Triumph” at the reception (although it has nothing to do with love and marriage, nor is it a song with a dance attached to it). How the wedding planning goes can be a good indication of how the future will be, not in what may go wrong at the last minute, but in how we plan and how we respond to things not going according to plan.

I have to admit, thinking about sporting a nice symbol of love and affection on my left hand  and planning a wedding are pretty fun. But for me, it will always be more about what comes after: a beautiful life together.

XOXO

2blu2btru

Related articles

• Lord of the Rings* (2blu2btru.wordpress.com)
• 2011 Wedding Season Roundup: Alternative Reception Music, the Best Shoes For the Bride, How to Look Great in Photos, and More! (fabsugar.com)
• The Showdown: Bridezilla vs. the MOB (southerncelebrations.wordpress.com)
• Informing the Bridal Party (weddingbee.com)
• It’s Wedding Season on the PopSugar Network! (fabsugar.com)
• ‘Bridezillas’: Stop Embarrassing The Family (VIDEO) (huffingtonpost.com)

Lord of the Rings*

Tags

Engagement ring, fantasy, ring shopping, tastes, Wedding, Wedding ring

*Note: This post has nothing to do with Lord of the Rings. I’m sorry if you thought it did, but you should know me (and this blog) better than that.

This Saturday, I: a) went ring shopping with Mr. P. b) went wedding dress shopping with Mr. P c) went sexy underwear for after I’m married shopping with Mr. P. d) bought a Cinnabon with Mr. P. e) made a predominantly 90s themed wedding reception playlist with Mr. P.

All of these are true, and only one of them makes sense. This is what happens when I don’t have anything else to do with  my time.

The day started normally enough. We did the Panera Bread thing for breakfast before going to the church for tutoring/work day. Then we went to the MLK parade. After that, we had lunch at Red Lobster by the mall. I told Mr. P. whenever I passed the mall, I wanted to stop for a Cinnabon or Auntie Anne’s pretzel, so we decided to head to Cinnabon after our lunch.

When we got into the mall, we wandered around Dillards looking at shoes and purses, then wandered into the actual mall. On our way past, I saw the bridal store had a really pretty dress, so I suggested we go peek around. As soon as I said I wasn’t planning a wedding soon, I was promptly left alone (good for the time being, but made me feel less than impressed with their service; I could have been helping a friend look for a place to buy a dress…anyway…). Mr. P. got to give his opinion on what he liked (which can be summed up in a funny phrase I won’t share with you), which was very divergent from my leanings, but we did agree on several no go gowns.

After this slightly frightening experience, Mr. P. wanted to look around Fredrick’s across the hall to remind himself of the advantages of being married. After he was invited to try on a few pieces himself by the “I don’t judge” clerk, the experience lost its savor, so we continued on.

We passed a jewelry store with some really gaudy jewelry on our way (finally) to Cinnabon. We passed another jewelry store we both agreed we wouldn’t bother with because it looked down market, then ended up outside of a jewelry store that seemed more our style. After being greeted and told if we needed anything to call, we were left alone for a bit. As we neared the engagement ring/wedding ring sets, we were again greeted by another store representative. We told her we were just comparing our tastes for future reference (aka, we aren’t buying today), but rather than ignore us, she began to indulge our little game of “what about that one?” And point out rings we might like.

She pointed out one that was very nice, a nice carat count, with a matching wedding band. It slipped nearly perfectly on my finger (I put it on at her urging). Not bad. After we both decide that one is pretty high up on our imaginary lists, she says, let me show you something, and disappears with the ring. We ogle some more until she comes back with the ring cleaned

…and I fall in LOVE with it.

With all the finger oils clean off of it, this thing sparkles from every angle, even in the shadows, yet it’s not to big and flashy. It’s so me–elegant, sparkling, shining from the inside, with all the right little accents. Of course, the ring that’s exactly me is 2 carats and over $4,000. And this is just a hypothetical jaunt.

She gives us a great hypothetical deal, too: the company will pay the tax, cut a couple hundred from the price, and throw in sizing. She writes it all down on her card with the ring info in case we come back, to lock in the deal she gave us no matter what the price is (it’s regular priced nearly $10k). Even though I tried on a 30k, 5 carat ring/wedding bank set, it didn’t top this one…which I had to leave in the store and settle for a Cinnabon.

We were both a bit taken with our hypothetical ring shopping, and went on to run through an enormous amount of music for our fake nuptials, as well as picking a venue. We have half of a wedding planned in a Saturday afternoon.

I now see how addictive the whole wedding thing can be, and I’m not even getting married! If you are in the Orlando area and need some ideas, though, I know a few good places to look.

XOXO

2blu2btru

Related articles

• How to Buy an Engagement Ring: Our Buying Guide – Helzberg Diamonds (helzberg.com)

Why Jay-Z Deserves A Break

Tags

"deep", "hating", growth, Ivy Carter, Jay-Z, maturity, opinions, skepticism, social networking, twitter, wisdom

My twitter line has been full of witty jokes and outrage in response to Jay-Z’s declaration he will no longer call women “female dogs” after the birth of his own little girl, Blue Ivy Carter. Everyone in twitterland is full of criticism over this: “If he had a boy, who he have done this?” “Having a mother and wife didn’t stop him–NOW he wants to stop?” etc. Even though I’m not inclined to defend people who make bad life decisions (and, more important only to my “writerly spirit”, bad word choices), it shows me a deeper issue with the American psyche that no one has said anything positive about his choice to be more conscious in what he calls the fairer sex: we can’t let people mature and grow up.

Despite when you think someone should have awakened and stopped doing something, despite when you think someone should have started doing something, the fact that they have come to the “correct” realization is a good thing. Not letting people move on is detrimental to our own growth.

I believe that people can change. I know people from my high school days who weren’t very nice to me and now we are friends. They aren’t the same people as they were in high school. I can’t keep seeing them as those people. It would only affect me if I continued to try and cast them as they used to be.

Many people do this when people have religious conversions, swear to give up drinking, vow to be celibate, start going to the gym. We remind them that they could have done that any day; they didn’t have to wait until a new year. We remind them that they said that before and then they went right back to doing what they were doing. We tell other people, “Watch; in a week she’ll be back doing *blah blah blah*.” We think of clever “deep” things to say on twitter about why they couldn’t see that they needed to change a long time ago.

Wisdom, maturity, and growth doesn’t happen in other people like we think it should. Change doesn’t happen overnight. Perhaps Jay-Z felt some stirrings of wanting to stop using the word when he got married; I don’t know. He probably doesn’t think of his way in the derorogatory terms he used in his music, but if you want to sell records…I remember a rapper who took a stand and stopped using the “N” word when we were all doing that; do you remember him and what happened to his career? Some of you may have vowed to stop and have slipped back into the habit.

Maybe the birth of his daughter, like a bolt from the blue, hit him over the head with the fact someone could use that very word about his daughter. Maybe he will occasionally slip and use the word again.  Maybe he won’t ever be able to live up to his declaration. But I would rather take his “conversion” (for lack of a better term) at face value, understanding that changing the habit of years takes time.

I think that it speaks to what kind of people we are when we can’t let anyone else have an “a-ha!” moment and grow from the experience without backlash and “yeah rights” being thrown like rice at a wedding (or, as the song REALLY says, haters throw salt like rice at a wedding…*ahem*). There are plenty of things to be skeptical of or try to be deep about without sneering at another person’s attempt to grow to be more.

That’s my two cents, anyway. Leave yours in the comment section.

XOXO

2blu2btru

Related articles

• Jay-Z Vows To Stop Using The Word ‘Bitch’ In His Music (pinkisthenewblog.com)
• Beyonce & Jay-Z Release Statement About Blue Ivy Carter! (hellobeautiful.com)
• Has Jay-Z Given Up the B-Word Because of His Daughter? (thenewx1023.radio.com)

Why “Living Better” Rarely Works

Tags

better, concrete, defined, goals, measurable, New Year's Resolution, plan, quantifiable

Where Dreams Come True? Cinderella's Castle--the Magic Kingdom

As usual this time of year, I’ve run across my fair share of enthusiastic New Year’s resolution makers and equally enthusiastic resolution bashers. It doesn’t matter to me which side of the aisle you’re on (I’m decidedly in the middle), as long as you don’t fall into the club of vague discontent that engenders the following statements:

• “I’m not making any resolutions; I’m just going to live better.”
• “I’m going to live a more healthy lifestyle.”
• “I’m going to live with no regrets.”
• “This is going to be my year.”
• “I’m getting rid of all negativity.”
• “I’m striving to do better this year than last year.”

These statements, by themselves, aren’t bad; they convey the sentiments that lie behind most goals or resolutions. However, they don’t usually work because they are incomplete.

It’s hard to be successful at something when all you have outlined is what you want to do. I want to be a writer. At some point I will have to write and either self-publish or find a publisher. I can be in that boat for a very long time. Unless I actually make some concrete, measurable steps along the way, it doesn’t matter that I want to do something. I’m never going to get anything accomplished with a vague hope, whether I call it a goal, resolution, word of the year, or just “living better.”

So let’s take a few of the aforementioned vague notions and make them concrete, shall we?

“I want to live better” can be anything from “I want to do more than make ends meet financially” to “I want to leave a smaller carbon footprint” to “I want to eat more whole, unprocessed foods and exercise.” You have to be able to identify what you want to be better, so you can make a conscious effort to get “better.” If you want to remove negativity or drama, what is the root cause of negativity or drama in your life? Is it a certain person or group of people, unhappiness with your job or career, or do you crave/attract gossip and controversy yourself?

Since “better” is a modifier that can only be explained by knowing what the subject was before, you have to know where you are in relationship to where you want to be. Once you know where you are and where you want to go, it becomes easier to map out a course of action to get there. If you were going on a road trip in a country you’d never been to before and didn’t know well, the last thing you would want to do is get into the car with someone who didn’t have a map, only a vague notion that where you wanted to go was somewhere to the Northeast. Why would you think that was an acceptable way to navigate your life?

I’m not trying to discourage anyone or bash anyone’s positive thoughts for the new year. I’m saying that having an actual plan increases your chances of success. The  plan may change along the way, but it’s easier to alter a plan than to have to come up with one in a difficult situation. Even luck and chance (if you believe in that) favor a prepared individual.

If you have no other goal for your life, it should be to live with more intent, to strive for “better,” whatever that means for you, in a way that yields positive, abundant results.

That’s my two cents, anyway. Leave yours in the comments section.

XOXO

2blu2btru

Related articles

• Too late for New Year’s Improvements (resolutions)? (theutopiabetween.wordpress.com)
• Making new year resolutions – thoughts, ideas and my process (kathrynelliott.com.au)
• A New Year and resolutions. (learntobake.wordpress.com)

The Best of 2011, Part I

Tags

best of 2011, retrospective

Because I did work hard towards the one post a day challenge, the annual best of blog post would be impossibly long, so I’m going to give it to you in small doses before I move forward into talking about the new year.  I am going to do a few categories of post from the first part of the year, and work my way through. Enjoy!

One of the things I wanted to do this year is continue in the vein of my post “The Season for Getting Serious” and give practical advice, meditations, and personal stories on how to get and stay serious about reaching goals and making a success of your life. Here’s what I came up with the first half of 2011:

Season for Getting Serious Series from 2011 (Jan-Jun)

The Getaway, Or Straight No Chaser

The Thrill is Gone: Chaser

ScrewTape Explains it All

The Invisible Unicorn

Another Manic Monday

Manuals & Other Ways to Impress at work

When No Doesn’t Mean No

When I’m Ready

Wednesday Wisdom: Defensive Stance

From Miles to Minutes

Monday Motivation: Accentuate the Positive

Wednesday Wisdom: Gasp for it

Wednesday Wisdom: Get the Lead Out

Why Not Tonight?

Fearless

Getting Back Into a New Groove

Monday Meditation: Ask & Ye Shall Receive

I also continued another blog favorite series: Things Mr P Doesn’t Know About Me:

TMPDKAM

I’ve Sung the Blues

My Ten Valentines

I Was Hit By Love

I’m Aaliyah

What Tina Turner & I Have in Common

The First Dance

Of course, there was other series that I am especially proud of, but those will have to wait until after work. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this part of the retrospective!

XOXO

2blu2btru

 

Is It Too Early to Begin the Retrospective?

Tags

accountability, blogging, faith, fellowship, goals, God, NaNoWriMo, writing

Hardly! With only a few days left in this year, I’ve been bombarded with friends, acquaintances, and people separated from me by less than six degrees updating their twitter, facebooks, and blogs with retrospectives of the last year and future plans. I’ve even obliquely outlined a few plans to a few friends, but I have yet to take a complete look at this year, or make concrete plans for the next one.

The other day, I did an experiment. I wrote down everything that I’d accomplished this year that I consider to be important, then I compared it to this post outlining my goals for the year. The results of the experiment were eye opening. To save you the time of flipping back and forth, I’ll give you the list here, crossing out what I’ve done already:

So, to that end, here are my goals for 2011:

• Write a blog post everyday: I had this goal before, and while I didn’t achieve it, I did notice that when I really tried, I was able to find many wonderful topic to write about, and writing often helped me track my progress on my goals. [Update: Obviously, this didn't happen, for reasons you will see throughout this post]
• Finish my NaNoWriMo novel: I’m not going to set any hard goals for publications for this year. This year I want to get back to writing because I love it. I’ve sucked all of the joy out of writing when I’ve made the end goa publication rather than writing something I was proud of and was worthy of publication. I need to take one step at a time. [Update: Nope, didn't do this either. I started another NaNoWriMo in July, and even began my marriage kit book, but I didn't finish either of those items, for reasons you will see.]
• Find someone I trust to critique my writing when I have a finished product: I need someone I can trust to look over the work and give me an honest opinion. [Update: I found someone I trusted, but he hasn't had time to look over the work and tell me what he thinks, so I give myself half a credit here]
• Add in my stress reducing activities: These include exercise, walking, talking to friends, blogging, hot baths–anything that helps to relieve stress. I won’t use exercise as simply a means to lose weight, but as a way to relieve stress, be healthy, and promote positive feelings about myself. [Update: Not even a little bit. I was more stressed out this year than last year!]
• Keep an updated calendar of my bill dates and amounts, and plan each month for paying bills on time. [Update: I don't even want to talk about this one...]
• Be more expressive of my appreciation when people help/support me.
• Read my Bible each day. [Update: I did read my Bible a lot more, especially with the things I was involved with, but I didn't meet the every day goal.
• Pray at least once each day. [Update: Does grace before eating count? No? OK, I did this maybe three to four times a week, not counting worship service and Bible Study.]
• Cook meals at home at least four days a week. [Yeah, that didn't happen]
• Take lunch to work at least four days a week. [No, that didn't happen either]
• Visit and keep in touch with family more. [Went to Michigan for a week and visited my aunt and uncle several times. I speak to everyone at least once a week.
• Attend brother’s graduation.
• Make doctor’s appointments. [I made dental appointments; I still have a few days to make a doctor's appointment.]
• Get a library card and read at least two books a month that aren’t Harlequin romance novels. [I did increase my regular reading, just not two books a month.]
• Attempt (and complete) NaNoWriMo again in November. [Did Camp NaNoWriMo in July. Made good progress on a good project, but got busy and didn't finish it.]
• Continue and compile the “Season for Getting Serious” posts
• Start on two memoir ideas.
• Strengthen relationship with my father. [Spent nearly the entire week before Christmas, Christmas, and most of the day after Christmas with my dad and little brother. Supported his talk at aunt's seminar and introduced him, too.]
• transition my blog to a self hosted blog with trademarked banner/name, and ensure all materials are properly copywrited. [We won't talk about that one.]
• Get furniture for my apartment. [I got a futon, an end table, a coffee table, and a chair.]
• Find my other passions, and pursue them.
• Love more freely and trust in a deeper way.
• Increase my fellowship. [Oh, boy did I. I attended one First Friday Fellowship, participated in tutoring, ran an education workshop, helped out and attended a Ladies' Day, attended education meetings, attended a gospel meeting, attended and spoke during the marriage and family workshop, went to a Songfest with some other members, hosted two singles' fellowships, participated in planning and putting on a Senior luncheon, hosted Scared Silly Saturday before Halloween, and had fellowships with singles and even the minister and his family after church over a meal. I helped out with the Spring Fling and Free Market as well.]
• Begin increasing my tithing. [Didn't get a chance to do this one...money was funny; however, I did give more often.]
• Shop more in the fresh produce section. [see above "money was funny"]

Did you notice the trend that I noticed doing this the other day? If you’ve identified the fact that I accomplished everything that was outside of my own personal goals, you guessed correctly. I put together or helped plan and execute programs, I supported my family members’ programs, I was there for special family events, I kept in touch, I made sacrifices to participate in everyone’s everything…except my own.

There was one thing that happened that was for me this year: I got a new position at work. I have a new title, a new (shared) office, and work that requires a functioning brain. I’m hopeful for what I can accomplish career wise, and I can’t wait to get my career plan/ career path at the annual review…along with any word on salary adjustment, a raise, or a bonus. I crossed one unwritten goal off my list: transition from the non-descript, no possibility of going anywhere role I was in into something that better suits me.

This year was supposed to be about balance, but as you can see, this year was anything but balanced. There wasn’t a lot of me in this year. I didn’t do a lot of taking care of myself, growing myself, working towards the future I would like to have.

I would love to say more, but before I do, there’s a lot more wrapping up to do. I haven’t actually told you about my year. I haven’t done my best posts of 2011 blog rewind. I haven’t caught up on all of your entries. I haven’t crafted my goals or selected my word of the year. So, until that time, tell me about you.

What goals did you set out with this year? How many of them did you accomplish? What was missing from your year? What do you intend to do about it?

Related articles

• My favorite things from 2011 (leadingremotely.com)
• 2011 – A Retrospect (barunjha.wordpress.com)
• 2011 in Retrospect: Our ‘State of the Blog’ Address (penn-olson.com)