Tags
difference, existence, non-conformity, perception, self-acceptance, self-love, unbelievable, unique
I am as mythical as these two? Image via Wikipedia
I love the new Diet Dr. Pepper ( or maybe zero calorie Dr. Pepper?)commericals where they’re having a meeting for people/creatures people don’t believe in anymore. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Abominable Snowman all sit around telling war stories about how no one believes in them anymore. The reason I like this commercial so much is because I can relate to the sentiment.
For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been confronted more than once with the notion that I don’t exist. Well, not that I don’t exist, as in I’m not physically here. I should say I’ve been confronted with the notion that people like me don’t exist.
I’m used to being the exception to the rule. I’ve been told from a young age how different I was from my peers–academically, physically, how I was raised, what I believed in. I was smarter than most people I knew (not that I’m bragging; this is just what I was told): the tests, and other people, said so; I was shorter than other people my age (I only had to look around for that one); most people’s parents weren’t strict like my mother was, didn’t stay at home and BE a parent like she did, didn’t teach them what she taught me (what do you mean you have to go home? What do you mean you can’t date boys yet? My mom lets me…); I believed in waiting until marriage to have sex or live together, in trying to do right and not just doing things I knew were wrong and apologizing for it later.
Being different was something I wore like a badge of honor. I was different better. I never thought that being outside of the norm was a bad thing, because I believed I knew the right things to do and the right way to be.
However, my paradigm has been shifted lately. I realize I’m not just different; I’m unbelievable.
It culminated with the email conversation I mentioned yesterday, but it’s been coming up a lot in the past week. I watched an episode of Oprah‘s 25th season Behind the Scenes show where the producers were working on a show about a 30 year old virgin. When they met with Oprah the day before the show, she hated the idea. What is wrong with that? she inquired. Is it so odd to still be a virgin at thirty if you’re unmarried? She had a worldwide audience, and for some, that was their reality, nothing strange about it at all. She was outvoted by producers and studio audience alike on whether or not it was “weird” or odd to be a 30 year old virgin. It IS odd, everyone agreed. They would wonder why. Is something wrong with her?
I had a conversation at Single’s Meeting about people’s perceptions versus reality. I feel that many people push the whole marriage thing so hard on me and Mr. Perfect because they think we’re having sex already (how else could I possibly be pregnant some Sundays, right? Never mind I could be/am battling the bulge like everyone else). Don’t they know me? I lamented. We’ve both worked hard at maintaining a relationship we know is right and proper in God’s sight. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Why are we not given the benefit of the doubt? Because we’re the exception. The rule now is we must be having sex.
Suddenly being the exception is not only not better, it’s strange and unnatural. Everyone wants to be like everyone else, and if you don’t fit the mold, either you are just pretending to be different or something is wrong with you. Generalizations are the only comfortable labels to wear nowadays; they are fitted in all the right places, hide all the flaws and emphasize all the assets. You can’t go out looking like you, ladies: you have to look like you have a full glam squad behind you. You have to be built like a Barbie, or a singer/rapper who thinks she’s a Barbie.
I don’t accept that. I am daring to be different. I am not going to go along with what anyone else thinks I am just because they think it. I’m not going to assume someone is something because everyone else their age is that way, either (yes, I’ve been guilty of lumping myself 
). I’m giving myself and everyone else the beautiful opportunity to be different, to be unique.
In what ways are you unique, and how are you going to CELEBRATE it? Leave your two cent’s after the beep…
BEEP!
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Related Articles
- Diet Dr. Pepper: I Exist (dekku.nofatclips.com)
- Lies and Deceptions (smakendahed.wordpress.com)
I know exactly what you mean. While I was engaged people would always ask what I was most excited about and I would always say “living together.” Almost everyone I told that to (except church friends) were shocked to the point of speechlessness that we had never lived together. Some people went so far as to say, “You HAVE to live together! It is so important.” It was really shocking to me that not living together is now an exception. It was as if we would get married and I would realize he had all this deep, dark, secret living habits that would be marriage ending. I’m sure you get it all the time with sex too. People are always surprised when you drop that bomb.
I’m glad there are a bunch of us left being exceptional
Yes, exactly! I’ve definitely been told (and have blogged about) people telling me to “shack up” or live together to “really get to know him,” as if when he goes home for the night, he morphs into something else entirely. It’s fun being the exception, but it’s also sad because I don’t think that in this way, I should be exceptional, you know?
Thanks for reading and commenting! I love your blog, by the way.
I know what you mean. It does make me sad sometimes how values that I think should be so important seem to be drifting away in society. I just hope that it’s a trend and that there will be a revolution towards tradition someday.
And I love your blog too!
well – I smile at people that I don’t know – I guess I celebrate the most when strangers smile back
Me, too! It’s hard when people frown or refuse to acknowledge it, but it’s worth it when you get a smile in return. Keep smiling, and thanks for commenting