I wanted to add something here because I haven’t written in a while. In my head, I have been writing in here almost everyday, but by the time I get home, I either forgot what I wanted to talk about, decided it’s too intimate, or just don’t have the energy to devote myself to any serious thinking or self-evaluation.

I’ve got a lot going on in my head at the moment, but I’m not sure how to say it. Sometimes people use what I say in my blogs/diaries against me in a court of their own opinion, and that makes me walk a very fine line of trying to be open and honest, trying to share myself in the hope that someone who has been there and done that will say something that will help me, and trying to make sure people can’t use what I say to try and sabotage the little spots of happiness in my life. A conundrum for the ages.

But that’s never stopped me before. This infernal tiredness has. This inactivity on top of inactivity has. I know once I begin to write, I love it. I become absorbed by it. The trick is to get me to a place where I can do it.

I’m there now. Well, not now. I have to go to work. But I do have some things to say and I am making a point to say them today. I also signed up for this get fit/weight loss type challenge, we are women hear us roar thing at work. I don’t even own a scale. I just want to lose my gut; I love my hips, thighs and butt. They are just so. But my only really challenge is to get fit. It is motivation to get off the couch and maybe do some things that always energized me before. Biking, treadmill, yoga, pilates, walking. I’ve also discovered Carmen Electra’s striptease stuff is fun, if not the least sexy when I do it in my living room.

I’ll have something of substance to say later.