I read an article in which a girl from Georgetown said this yesterday, and it resonated with me because of an experience I had this past weekend. Mr. Perfect and I went to my company’s holiday party. We have a really good time for the most part. I spent the night laughing, chatting, even danced a bit. Mr. Perfect spun me around and almost out of my heels to “Save the Last Dance for Me.” He met all of my coworkers. Some people won $600-800 dollars (not me *sad face*) and their was a free open bar for all the drinkers (and there were plenty).
Maybe the open bar is what did it, but I refuse to “blame it on the alcohol” on this one. Mr. Perfect and I are standing at the bar have sodas at the end of the night (you know, one for the road?). He’s asking the men around about who won the Heisman and they do the sports talk for a while. Then this guy standing on his other side, who is clearly drunk turns to us name and introduces himself. Then he says ” I don’t really like Black people, but I’m gonna hang out with you guys for the popularity points.” He then asks us what are names were, calling us “boy” and “girl.” I haven’t been a girl in at least six years (I am twenty-four). He even said to Mr. Perfect, as he was trying to make light of the situation “Shut up, b***h, and let’s go!” Apparently, he was “inviting” us to the pub, where most people were heading after the party wrapped up.
This little exchange didn’t really bother me as much when it was happening as it did when I left. In the moment, I was more embarrassed than anything. By this point in the night, we were the only Black people there (the three others had left for the night). Here we are in this exclusive, gated community country club at a company function, the only Black people on hand, and this happens. Nobody said anything, but I’m sure they heard and were standing there waiting to see what we were going to do. It’s been a long time since I felt like I really didn’t know a bunch of people I see nearly everyday, at least since sophomore year of college, and that was nearly five years ago. It makes you look at everyone and think to yourself “et tous? Do you feel that way about me too, and you just hold your liquor better?”
I didn’t make a big deal of it. I had never seen this person before. I heard from someone at work that he might work at the pub as a bartender (my company also owns the pub), but I’ve never seen him there. I figured I’d never see him again and could just move on with life.
One of my coworkers, whom I talked to about it, went straight to the boss and let him know what happened (he had already left by the time the incident had occured). She thinks he may have reported it to the big boss and upper management. I don’t know how I feel about that. I am not trying to get anyone fired, especially in this economy (even a racist). I usually don’t make a big deal of people slighting me. I just get on with life and do what I have to do. I’m not sure that’s the right approach either. I mean, isn’t silence seen as assent, or at least acquiesence? (sp?) So this is what I decided to do…open it up for discussion. Have at it!