Is it possible for a couple to be on the same wavelength when it comes to proposal time, or is one person always waiting for someone else to be ready? What happens when one person is waiting for the other person to be ready? Where is the finish line in the race to the ring, and what criteria do you use to train for it? How do you pace yourself? Who really wants to win this race?
I wouldn’t want to be waiting in “I’m ready to get married now” territory by myself until the man in the relationship gets there, but it seems it almost always happens that the woman is waiting for the man. As Chris Rock says, “A woman goes on for good dates and she’s like ‘Why we bull#*%&? What are you waiting for?” “Men don’t settle down; we surrender.” So according to him, after “four good dates” we are patting our feet like Sonic waiting for you to continue playing.
I hate waiting. I’m the worst waiter ever. I love being on time; hate waiting. When you give me a time, I will probably be there a little before then, and I expect you to start on time. My people don’t always understand this. They see no reason to be on time, start on time, or otherwise acknowledge that time has a concrete function. It drives me crazy. The last thing I want to do is spend a bunch of time waiting for something that may or may not happen.
I know what you’re thinking; There I go again, making him go out on the limb first. But that’s not at all what I’m implying. If the male isn’t sure, he shouldn’t propose in the first place, but if he just has to ask, I will happily tell him where I am. I’m just not going to ask someone to ask me to marry them. I’m not that girl at all.
My desire isn’t to leave future hubby waiting for me, but for us to get there together. But can you reach that place together? Doesn’t someone have to be in the front? I’m not talking about asking, just knowing, just being able to say internally “this is the person I want to marry” instead of “this is a person I could see myself wanting to marry one day.”
Let’s say it’s not possible to get there at the same time. How long should the one in MarryMeLand wait for the one in You’reCoolButI’mNotSoldVille? We can say there’s not a specific timeframe or a need for ultimatums, but at some point you have to realize they’re just never gonna get there. Or not while you’re willing to me. I’m not with that Dr.Dre line from “Just Be a Man About It” : I mean, I wanna love you, and I’m gonna love you one day, but, you know I mean, you just gotta understand where I’m coming from.” One day isn’t enough. Maybe they just aren’t ready yet, or maybe they never will be. How do you know the difference?
Marriage is a commitment for life and not to be taken lightly. But sometimes you have to fish or cut bait, to be honest with yourself on whether or not you can commit to one person for life. Also to be honest whether or not it’s just that you can’t commit to the person that you’re with, for whatever reason.
These are the things I think about while doing my job. Hmph…wish they’d just let me be on Twitter or Facebook.