I’ve been coming to work in a rare good mood. I’ve felt energized and awake. I’ve been getting things done. I’ve been feeling like I look fabulous. I’ve been wrong.

Today I had one of those days where you feel like you are just too much, only to turn a corner & be brought back down to size. Or up to size, as in my case. I dressed in all black–nice trousers, form fitting shirt with white trim around the collar, black pumps. My hair was slicked back into a ponytail, the front gently waved. I was walking tall 7 confident, enjoying my look. I felt slim, attractive. I was thinking slim thoughts. Then I turned the corner and saw Raven, also in all black, but actually slender and not just trying to fake it, and felt my happy with my body bubble burst.

To be fair to myself, Raven had an unfair advantage. She’ll never be a curvy woman unless she buys some; she is slender and straight, mostly. She also practically starved herself and worked out like a fiend for her own wedding, and is going to be well toned for Blondie’s wedding. She’s allergic to many of the foods that I fight to keep off my hips–dairy products and anything tomato based among them. She has some problem with bread, and gets acid reflux. It’s easy to be small when you can’t eat anything!

I’ve been working out and trying to flatten my tummy for months, with little visible progress. I’ve been to the gym and used cardio and weight bearing machines. I do yoga and things like Rock Hard Body at home. I don’t overeat. I have a stronger body and more lean muscles under the fat, but how do I get the fat off the top? It’s frustrating!

I am cutting soda again. At least V8 Splash has 100% DV of different vitamins and antioxidants, and crystal light is only 5 calories. I only drink Sprite anyway so it’s not much to give up. And Ihm going to walk after wor.k a few days a week…I’m going to try and getthe fat off the top. I’m not sucking in anymore.

I am with Monique–skinny people are evil!

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