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I have a baby bump. At least, that’s what one woman at church thinks. She came up to me after church and asked, “Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?” I had no idea what she meant and kept asking what she thought she saw. Finally she flicked her eyes downwards. “Well, I’m fat, but I’m not pregnant, if that’s what you think you’re seeing.” “Well, good,” she says. I can only guess she meant it was good I’m not pregnant and not that it’s good I’m fat. Either way, I’m not enthusiastic about that response.

It’s not that I have any new weight I didn’t have the last time she saw me. I’ve maintained my weight since I started going to the gym in November. I’m not sure if I’m more insulted by the fact that I’m fat or I’m supposed to be fornicating. I’ll have to think about that one.