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I thought it would be a good idea, if I’m to work on my accountability, to share here not only progress but a few failures from time to time. Maybe one of you loyal readers will have a suggestion on where I’m going wrong. Also, sometimes you just have to say some things to someone else. They aren’t right or wrong or seeking advice, they are just thoughts. Like this: The greatest thing about the internet is that I can give my perspective and opinion on anything I want whether I am asked for it or not; the worst thing is, so can everyone else.–see? No advice needed; just an observation.

The Confessional Posts will be where I give my opinions, make my confessions, and/or seek forgiveness. I am not Catholic, so it won’t be that type of confessional. Think Sylvia Plath confessional poetry, or a tell all book. Ahem, without further ado…

I hate working out. Well, not really. I hate starting to work out, and being sore afterwards gives me no warm fuzzies either. I think sweat is kind of gross (sure smells that way). I hate going to the gym and looking at my flab moving under my shirt in the mirror opposite (and there is always a mirror). I hate guys watching my butt while I’m on the treadmill or elliptical (as if I am not self conscious enough in here!).

I have friends who find it easy to exercise, who have found their exercise passion, but their success does not motivate me. I am happy for them, jealous of their results at times, but I don’t necessarilyy want to do what they do to get those results. When I think of my fitness “passion,” it’s all used to: I used to love to do suicides, run/walk intervals, learn to swim. I used to walk or run everywhere. I loved to be outside. I had a bike that I rode almost everyday from one side of town to the other.

If I had to pick some things I still like to do that are physical, I can only name two–play tennis (which I’m horrible at) and do yoga. There are a few yoga exercises (like the Body Slim by Yoga Works) that make you sweat and feel the burn, but there are also exercises that calm your mind, which I am always trying to do. It also usually doesn’t involve equipment (or shoes!), which means it’s limited investment with great results (when I actually stick with it). I’m not the most flexible person in the world, but after a month or so, I can get deep into some stretches that I raised my eyebrows at in the beginning.

Everyone’s urging me to try this hot yoga, but I don’t want to try to hold those positions soaking wet. Can you imagine, your hands slipping in the downward dog and face-planting? Or losing your balance in balancing stick and–well, face-planting? I may give it a try when I have the money for classses. I would love to actually take yoga classes (it would hold me more accountable), but I have no money 😦

You know what I hate the most about working out? The one area I hate the most is the very last area I see results, no matter what area the workouts are focused on. I want to lose my gut, I lift my booty (making it look bigger, according to my cousin…I have no problem with a firm, sitting up bottom, thank you), slim my thighs (okay, so they needed it), and build calf muscle for days, but my stomach barely shrinks 1/4 inch and I lose not a pound. Hmph! I used to keep going until I saw physical results becuse I was getting the mental results (clearing my head, my “me” time, being in the sunshine, singing on runs/walks in isolated areas as loud as I wanted, getting to be by myslef without leading people to believe I needed some company), but now I have found other (more slovenly) ways to fulfill most of those desires. So now what am I supposed to do to motivate myself to move and stop, as one gym commercial says “sedating myself with cookies”? (Actually, I don’t eat any cookies save Pirouettes French Vanilla rolled wafers, and those rarely)

Give me your best fitness advice for a less than enthused, need to see some results or I’m not doing it, can’t seem to enjoy physical activities diva.