Tags
confessional, continuing, determination, drive, energy, finish what you start, Motivation, starting, zeal
I never finish anything these days. I’m completely lacking in “sticktoitiveness.” I get such a boost fro starting things, such a drive and ambition, but the longer it takes to complete, the less likely I am to finish it until I HAVE to.
I recently noticed my tendency to not finish things in life and in writing first with my blog, then with my apartment. At the beginning of the year, I set the goal to blog everyday. For the month of January, I was excited, placing journals strategically so I could jot down any good bolt from the blue ideas or details of my day. Slowly but surely, as I came to see how boring my life could be, how hard I would have to look for inspiration some days, I began missing days, then shelved the goal for another time.
The same loss of zeal occured with cleaning/organizing my apartment. My bathroom & closet are immaculate, pristine, each the first area of two separate cleaning missions that I attempted to complete. I felt determined to tackle my apartment, but both times, I only got through one area before that determination left me. I would feel a sense of accomplishment when I got each room done, but it wouldn’t sustain me through the next one.
This is the opposite of my problem with going to the gym/working out. In all areas of my life outsid of fitness, I’m a great starter, but I can fizzle out quickly. Setbacks used to challenge me, make me that much more determined to finish strong, to succed; now, I just surrender. I’m like a boxer that has been hit one too many times to get back up, no matter how badly I want to. I hear the counting, I try to push off the mat with my arms, but I can’t stand. I’m bloody and bowed, ashamed I can’t seem to get back in the fight.
I’m struggling to fiugre out how to reignite my drive, my (healthy) competitive streak, my determination and perserverance. I had to rely on it so heavily to get here. I’m all tapped out, it seems. I’ve powered through a year off from college (financial reasons), working three jobs with few full days off, relocation, joblessness, near homelessness, the loss of many supporting relationships, dissatisfaction with my body, an uncertain temp job, a car accident, and the death of my stepfather. Now I struggle to get out of bed and to work on time, to pick up clothes, even to do things I actually love, like blogging.
Where and how do I refuel my tanks? How do I afford to when gas prices are up and regular unleaded just won’t do? I feel I am running on fumes, motivation-wise.
Give me your best motivational wisdom, because I need it!
Wow, it sounds like you’ve had a lot of stuff going on. It’s possible you could be depressed and perceived failures can make it worse. You could try starting with shorter or easier goals so you can feel the glow of success. You’ve mentioned the gym a lot, so maybe your goal could be to go there twice a week for two weeks. Also, blogging every day is really hard (I can’t do it). Maybe you should try twice a week on that for a while, and after some success, you can go to every other day.
I guess my long-winded point is, you goals seem big and could set you up for failure, which drags you down. Think baby steps. Good luck!
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LOL, my aunt would have diagnosed me if it were depression. Depression, so I am told, is a feeling that lasts for at least two weeks; I’m never down that long. I think what makes my goals seem so overwhelming is because I just state the long term ones here, but I actually set small ones, as well. I say, I will write a blog today, just today, and we’ll see how I feel tomorrow. That trick doesn’t work either some days, lol!
It has been a very busy (stressful)…nearly 4 years (from having to take a year off school to now), but there have been some happy points: Finally graduating, Mr. Perfect, being hired full time at my job ( it was one year ago on the 22nd), getting my first apartment on my own, getting my first car, etc. What I’m lamenting is that the spark, the will, to accomplish those things in all that diversity has sputtered. It’s not that I’m not accomplishing any of the goals I set forward for this year, but that after having to fight so hard for so long, I don’t know how much longer I can keep it up. At some point, I need to have a good year to balance out the adversity, to let my reserves build back up.
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You’re not alone here.
The problem with doing something alone for too long a period of time is in the word “self”.
After a while, no matter how driven, ambitious, creative, or smart you are, doing anything alone for a long period of time can become boring, and loose its passion.
When someone works on “Self” by themselves, they create what is called the “Self” Paradigm.
Here are some of the characteristics of the Self-Paradigm:
– Too Much Inner Thought: Not stepping outside of the circle can keep you stuck
– Constant Self Reflection: This can often turn into self criticism
– Greater Time Spent In Isolation: You may lose energy, drive, and focus
– Non-Productive Inward Objectivity: Second guessing yourself will stall your progress
A person can also get easily sad and way too contemplative when spending too much time home alone. There’s a tendency to become more reflective in a negative way and second-guess or judge themselves too harshly.
Now what successful people tend to do is to take the focus off of the “Self” and put it more outwardly towards becoming part of a group and contributing to others.
So as often as you can, you’ll want to opt to get out and meet and interact with people. Shake up your routine. Get out of your complacency as much as possible.
You cannot live in a vacuum. We’ve all heard it said that if let alone without human contact or interaction, a human baby will die.
We are the only species on the planet that works more on being alone than any other. Most other living creatures on the planet work in groups, clans, packs, herds, flocks, etc.
Think of the caveman. Back in the stone age you had to survive every day. Your responsibilities were to:
– Find Water
– Find Shelter
– Find clothing
– Find Warmth
– Hunt food
– Gather berries, nuts, roots, etc.
You would be hard pressed to do all of that ALONE every day. Plus once you found shelter then went out to hunt, you may come back to your cave to find something else has move in while you were gone.
Not to mention that you too were food for something else and that you also may be hunted!
Hard to do all alone. That is why the group was so important to survival. And, with everyone having their assigned tasks, you were able to improve in your particular skill-set.
By being part of a group and their community, successful people are usually open to new experiences, they have a relaxed, laid back -almost like they’re in control – attitude, and they’re up for any adventure.
So in essence, to improve your “Self” time you should concentrate on the following:
1. Build a Group – People who can support you and give you feedback on your goals or objectives.
2. Support your Group – Help and advise them as they do for you. This can only empower and elevate you.
3. Stretch Your Comfort Zone – Challenge yourself every day by trying something new like talking to someone or taking up a new class or hobby.
4. Contribute – Don’t just send money somewhere but participate in your community. Help someone with their groceries. Open a door for someone. Volunteer to hand out food or clothing.
5. Find a Mentor – Someone who lives life at a higher level than you in an area that you want to excel in.
I have a book called “Finish What You Start” on Amazon and B&N that give five simple tools that successful people have been using for decades to improve the group, which ironically strengthens and improves the self.
Hope this helps you!
Craig
http://www.amazon.com/Finish-What-Start-Craig-Copeland/dp/061535906X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278187535&sr=1-2
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