One of the first things I learned as a child was to never take candy from strangers or go towards the vehicle of someone I didn’t know. This had to be stressed, as our beighborhood was more dangerous than it appeared, and I loved candy. It was hard for me to believe that people weren’t who they appeared to be, that they had hidden agendas & motives. I still have this problem with taking people at face value, but years of instruction molded me into someone who sticks close to the model if I can’t buy it outright, I can’t buy it. I don’t ask for help or use credit…and I don’t take money (adult candy) from strangers.
But what about a non-spousal significant others? Is it OK to accept money from them? What is the protocol for monetary gifting? When can someone who isn’t living with you pay a bill or rent, and what happens next? Do I need to pay you back? Should I consider it an investment in the future we may possibly have together?
In July, as my regular readers know, I had a situation with my apartment complex depositing two rent checks at the same time that left my account overdrawn and me strapped for cash in a major way. I had to pay bank fees, returned check fees, and still had to pay a month’s rent or be put out. Mr. P. offered to pay half of what I owed for rent. It was sweet of him, but I couldn’t make myself take it. I wouldn’t have felt right. It all worked out without me needing to take him up on the offer, but it made me wonder. We’ve been together over 2 1/2 years, but even so without being married, I am not his responsibility & he isn’t mine. He still has his own bills to see to.
Nobody wants to be thought of as a golddigger, or be taken advantage of financially. So you tell me: should you accept money from non-spousal significant others? At what point in the relationship is it appropriate, if ever? Do you pay it back? Does/ did anyone else feel like it obligated you (imagined or real)? If you have taken money, how did it all turn out?