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“An Ex is an Ex for a reason.”

I’ve heard this statement many times from many different people. Some people are so opposed to dating an ex, I wonderhow they were ever with them in the first place. Others recount fondly how they “reconnected” with their significant other after time apart. Maybe they were too young, or it wasn’t the right time, but somehow, they are able to come back together & make it work.

So which is it? Should you be open to dating an ex, or should all things past remain in the past? Are there any clear indications that someone is or isn’t worth giving another chance? Here’s my opinion:

1. Why did you break up? Was it a serious reason, like cheating, or was it because you weren’t ready to pursue the relationship? Sometimes life circumstances have separated us, and not incompatibility. At least two of the people I’ve ierviewed were broken up at one point in time–yet 20-something years later, they are happily married.

2. Are you happy apart? Life has gone on, but does it feel like something is missing in other relationships? If you’ve been on your own to make sure you were whole & ready for a relationship, and there’s still something there you feel is worth pursuing, it may be worth the risk.

3.Did you damage the relationship beyond repair? Many residents of New Orleans loved & wanted their homes, but Katrina did irreparable damage to many & they had to be torn down. If the foundation & structure of the relationship aren’t sound, it can fall in on you. Is it worth it to repair/rebuild, or will more storms come & knock it down? Can you fortify it against the next storm?

These are a few of my considerations before getting back with an ex: what do you think? Is it ever a good idea? If so, when? Have you gotten back with an ex? How did it turn out?