I’ve decided to take part in the craziness that is National Novel Writing Month, as I mentioned in a previous entry. Well, today, November 1st, is the start of that journey. As I sit at a computer somewhere typing whatever comes to mind and make it make sense in the midst of breaking severe procrastination & caffeine addictions, I thought I would give you all an idea of my relationship to writing, & how NaNoWriMo may be just what I need to stop dating writing & commit (again).

Writing has been my best friend and greatest supporter as well as my harshest critic. I have always experienced the world as a writer. I am obsessed with the most minute personality ticks and unconscious gestures. I reimagine each boring aspect of my life as a scene in a book. I learn new words & writing techniques for fun. I’ve trained for this as one would for any great physical challenge. And just like any athlete, I am filled with nervous energy. I keep checking my supplies: characters, plot. subplot, POV, MDQ, setting. I wonder if we will make it to the end this time.

You see, as much as I love Writing, Writing has let me down. There are days I’ve sat waiting for my friend to show & she never does. She’s given me good ideas and taken the m back before I get them on paper. She regifts useless turns of phrase and adverbs. When writing does show up, she just makes it before the buzzer and won’t submit to any overview; she thinks she’s perfect just the way she is. She’s such a diva.

I’ve let Writing down, too. I am too tired to meet up with her. I put everything before our friendship. I try to hard to make her serious and meaningful, as if wanting to be funny or real precluded her being smart. I am always tweaking at some little something and getting bent out of shape when she doesn’t come out like I wanted her to. I never plan to spend any quality time with her, and we never have fun anymore; it’s all business.

I’m hoping NaNoWriMo will change that. It is like relationship therapy for me and writing.