Why was it so much easier for Karyn White to admit she wasn’t her man’s superwoman than it is for some of us women to admit to ourselves? I’ll tell you why: Karyn White wanted a little appreciation for all the effort that she put forward. She wanted him to realize he was being hurtful, that she wasn’t made of stone. We can’t admit we aren’t superwomen because what we want to be superwomen, even if it kills us and leave us by ourselves.
The women of today that I’m familiar with feel like they have to be better than men at their chosen career to get the same opportunities for promotions and raises, while excelling at being all things feminine to attract a man. Something has to give, and for many of them, they chose to forego romantic relationships in favor of climbing the corporate ladder. But maybe, just maybe, that’s the wrong tack to take.
I’m not telling any woman to give up her career. Most men don’t want you at home in this economy anyway. What I’m saying is that by admitting to yourself you can’t do it all and accepting help, you don’t have to choose between the extremes and can find a sort of balance that works for you.
I read on another blog that the second most successful marriage was a marriage in which the marriage was a sanctuary from outside tensions/pressure, where both partners needed each other to create a balanced life (the most successful marriage? Traditional husband breadwinner and wife homemaker). Harmony and balance are important to successful relationships. Allowing your partner to bring something to the relationship is a good place to start.
If I don’t need you for anything, why am I bothering with you? Non-essentials are the first things to go or get neglected in a time of crisis or strain. Think about it. In a financial crisis, people sell things they no longer have a need for first. If you’re running short of time, you do what has to be done first and leave the rest until you can get to it. We do this in relationships as well.
I have friends that I have to get their opinions on things, so I’ve never lost touch with them. I have friends who I call when I need to laugh or want to get out of my head a bit. Friends that only want to complain or are always depressed are the most easily and conveniently lost in the shuffle of life.
Let people mean something to you. Allow yourself to need other people. Stop trying to do everything.
I’m saying this to myself as much as to you. What suggestions do you have for killing the superwoman urge?
- Fantasia’s Suicide Attempt Should Be The Death Of The Homewrecker Myth [Stupid Stereotypes] (jezebel.com)
- How do you avoid the point of no return in marital estrangement? (ask.metafilter.com)
- No Superwoman Here (motherhoodwtf.com)
- Stop Stereotyping Female Leaders (blogs.hbr.org)
- Single-Minded: Me, My Mother and ‘For Colored Girls’ (theroot.com)