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In New Nightmare, Freddy was depicted closer t...

You may look like this to people you're "pursuing"...scary, isn't it? Image via Wikipedia

In a previous post, I wrote about people being pursued–by their past, by their own fear of failure, depression, or their own timeline for getting things accomplished. Sometimes, they are being chased by people. I said some of you wouldn’t be able to relate, because you’re doing the chasing, and that was a subject for another post. Well, here’s another post…

One of the most horrifying recurring dreams I had as a child was of being chased. It didn’t matter what I was being chased by–bees, Freddy Krueger, some unknown, unseen predator–I woke up drenched in sweat. I’ve changed my route home when I might be chased by a vicious dog. It was inconvenient, but not as inconvenient as possibly having to run for my life.

I’m sure you can think of many situation s in which being chased is a very bad thing. Many men and women, for example, view dating as the great chase. they feel like the rabbit at the grey hound races, being pursued by packs of salivating, overeager dogs that come out of the gate running. Or like someone being chased by the cops. Some people like the thrill of the chase, but after a while, it’s more like a manhunt, and no one likes to be pursued or run to ground that way.

So why are we doing it?

While sometimes we feel chased by our past failure or mistakes in such a way that we lose sight of the future ahead of us, being future focused can be just as detrimental. We can be so focused on who or what we think is our future that we lose sight of the present and all of its opportunities for future growth and success. The future starts in the present. What are you doing now to position yourself for the future you want, aside from running through the present at top speed?

Not all of us focused on what we want our future to be are progressing; futhermore, not all progression is forward. Some of us are like those greyhounds I mentioned before–out of the starting gates each morning, going in circles. We never catch the rabbit. If we ever did, we’d find it wasn’t real to begin with.

You don’t want to go in circles day after day, nor do you want to race past all of the enjoyable moments in life. We don’t want to always be impatiently scurrying through life wit the “I can’t wait” “hurry up” attitude:

-I can’t wait until Friday

-I can’t wait until I’m done with school (or insert goal here)

-He needs to hurry up & marry me; what is he waiting for?

-I can’t wait to get home; my job/co-workers/these customers are working my last nerve.

-God needs to send me a new (insert here)

-Girl as soon as I (insert thing you KNOW you aren’t actively working towards here), I’m going to be straight.

-If I could just get to (the next paycheck, this big payout, this awesome vacation), I’d be fine.

-When he/she FINALLY starts taking care of their responsibilities, my life will be easier.

My encouragement to you would be to slow down. Getting to where you want to be in life is like getting from home to somewhere you’ve never been before. Take in where you are. Consult some sort of map. I’m here; this is where I want to be, how best do I get from here to there? Where can I stop to refuel? When do I get out and stretch? Where can I stop for the night if I need to? Is my car in working order? Is this really where I’m supposed to be going?

A word about people. I’m sure someone is playing hard to get, but usually, they really just don’t want you. Or, if they do, they want a little less of you. Don’t be afraid to do your own thing sometimes. Let somebody miss you. Be fulfilled in other ways. Bring a sane whole person to the table. If it’s clear they don’t want you, accept that it’s not meant to be and move on with life.

The bottom line: Some people may enjoy the thrill of the chase, but if the thrill is gone, you don’t have to keep chasing. Make sure you’re chasing something you actually want to catch, and that you’re not just going in circles; it makes a good R&B song, but a sad, sad life.

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