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I love Patti Stanger’s “The Millionaire Matchmaker.” As someone who blogs about relationships, I can appreciate her unique advice and gut intuition. On her most recent episode (*note: this was actually written a long time ago…just getting around to publishing it)–which featured the creepiest guy ever)–she told one guy , who was in danger of falling for the girl Patti threw in as a test (oh his new no bimbo stance) to ask the girls he was considering if they would relocate for love. Good question.
I don’t know if you’ve ever asked this question or if someone has asked you , but I’ve had some associations with it. There’s even a country song entitled, “Would You Go With Me?”
A person’s decision to move (and ask this question) is dependent on many factors. Perhaps they got a better job offer or accepted to their dream school. Maybe they want to be closer to family or live in a different climate. It could even be they don’t like the people or amenities where they are as much as somewhere else, or any combination of these things. But how would you determine what answer you give, or whether or not to ask?
It’s easier to answer as an abstract question than it is when you’re invested. Is it contingent on you finding a job? Do you need the ring? Does it matter the weather as long as you’re together? Does it matter how far you’ll be moving? Is your heart battling your head on this one? How serious does the relationship have to be?
At the core of this, and most issues in love, are a few issues: trust, whether to decide with your heart or head, and faith (future perception). Do you think rationally through everything, or jump heart/gut first? Which has the most weight? Does past experience color your decision?
This isn’t one of those things I have a steadfast opinion on either way. You tell me: would you relocate for love?
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Indigo Moods 
*ahem* Sepia on relocation: I’ve done it before. Changed plans after undergrad for looooove. It was my first “serious” relationship. Instead of moving to L.A. to pursue acting, I moved home to Miami. 7 years later. I have small regrets. However it was a growing process. While I lived in NY, I considered relocating to another Southern state. He had a life set up already: the house, car, dog; only thing missing was a “misses’ “. At the last minute so much was revealed to me. He was clearly not “The One”. I’d say. (Sinnce I’m not “in love” or anywhere close to being in a relationship serious enough to consider moving two inches to the left to be closer to a man) take your time and make a sober decision. If the relationship is worth it things will fall into place. Also, consider whether the other party would be willing to move for you. Often women pack up their stilettos in a heart beat. See where the balance lies.
That’s my dos centavos!
Great post!!!
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SEPIA…you are opening up another topic for me with that “he had a life set up already” comment! I love it when people do that š
“If the relationship is worth it things will fall into place.”–this is true. All things work together for good for those who love Him, right? Relationships are definitely included in that.
It IS important that your mate would be willing to move for you as well…well…all I’m going to do is encourage you to read my minister’s marriage kit interview posts (both) š
So glad you read (and liked) and commented! Thanks š
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The hubs and I have discussed this alot just as a ‘what if?’. I am very, very close with my family. I spend almost as much time with my cousins as I do with my friends. We eat dinner at one of our parents houses almost every weekend. So, it would be really tough for me to move far away. I always tell him that I know I could move and be happy if I knew it was just for a set amount of time. Like, if he got an awesome job, but we had to move across the country I could handle it if it was 2-5 years. But, I would rather not have to move further than a few hours away, ever. I just think about if we have kids I want to be near my mom and friends/family will always be more important to me than career. I’m sure if it ever comes up as a real decision I would have to put more thought into it, but I don’t think I would move away permanently for anyone.
Good question!
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Could you really be happy moving, even if it was just for a little while? You sound like you’d miss seeing your family from week one.
It was a hard adjustment for me to move away from my mother’s family to Florida (very near my father’s family), even though I am still close to family. I was just always close to my mom and her family. I call them a lot and still keep in touch, but it’s not the same. However, I moved to go to school and work, as the opportunities weren’t there where I was, not for a man.
As long as I have a means to keep in close contact with family and we make enough to go visit both of our families regularly, I could be very happy someplace different. As Mr. Perfect is fond of saying, it gives them (family) somewhere else to visit.
For me, I definitely need the ring. I’m not moving to a new area and getting an apartment and job by myself, an I’m not living together before marriage, so there you go. After marriage…we will see. š
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