Welcome to my third male guest post! These are post by intelligent, successful men giving their takes on dating and relationships. You can review the first two posts, Independent Attitude–Brian, and The Silent Killer–Mr. Perfect, here (Brian) and here (Mr. Perfect)
Before I had a blog on WordPress (or a boyfriend), I would write long, involved notes on my facebook page about dating & relationships. One of the first people to wade into the fray each time was Percy. Percy and I went to college together for a year here in Florida. He’s always been one of those guy friends who always “keeps it real” and is willing to weigh in on any subject and give you a glimpse into a guy’s mind.
Percy has included his biography and links below. Feel free to comment here and contact him through his links.
A question we tend to ask a lot when it comes to relationships and members of the opposite sex is “WHY?” Why is it so hard to understand women? Why do we pay more attention to the people that hurt us, rather than to the people that care about us? Why do we cheat? I could go on forever… but it would be to no avail since life is a vicious cycle. However, I would like to put my two cents in on why women are hardly ever satisfied.
Going through my timeline on Twitter, I saw this tweet… “The hardest thing for a woman is having a good man after having a bad one. She feels like its too good to be true.” If this statement were anymore true, Jesus would’ve spoken it Himself. I’ve personally had a girlfriend who told me this to my face. She told me I was too good to be true. Since when were we as men not supposed to be good to the women we care for? You want us to be too normal? Too boring? That’s fine. I’m sure there are plenty of mundane men out there that will put you to sleep. However, that is not me. I thrive on adventure, new experiences and spontaneity. I thought women liked those things. That’s what they lead men to believe, anyway. I guess if it’s not in the form of G5 jets, yachts or luxury cars it doesn’t count, huh? Let me tell you women out there something you may have looked over: If there is a guy who genuinely cares about you, do not let him go or treat him any kind of way. In the long run, that’s what you’re going to end up wanting anyway. You want someone that’s going to care for you and love you regardless of any situation or scenario, right? So why run from it when you find it? Maybe you’re not attracted to him… that’s fair. But don’t lead him on. Nip it in the bud. This is one reason why guys end up treating women like “items”. They get hurt numerous times, which leads them to think EVERY woman will do the same thereafter. So they build up walls thicker than those of Jericho, and go around treating women as if they were toys that can be played with and thrown away at any given time. So ladies, if you ever come across a bitter dude, don’t knock him for it. Try to understand why he’s bitter. It had to have come from somewhere. Usually women have this problem more than men, but please know that men can be hurt emotionally as well.
That brings me to my next point. Why is it that every time the dreaded “Valentine’s Day” rolls around, women let their wrath reign down across the world? I’ve never seen so many young women so bitter as I have recently. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of happy women out there who are satisfied with their lives right now, but this “holiday” seems to just bring up sadness, anger, and bitterness mainly in our black women. Now, I understand you may not me bitter, just mad as hell… but why let that stop you from being loved? I know a woman personally who’s been through a divorce and has a child all at the ripe age of 23. She’s been through more than the average 40 year old woman. However, a young gentleman stepped into her life, and she’s on her way back to loving again. That’s the kind of thing I like to hear. Ladies, all of that man bashing you do on Valentine’s Day, or any other day isn’t going to get you anywhere. It may feel good for the moment, but words don’t keep you warm at night. Words won’t love you back. Words won’t take care of you when you’re sick. So be careful what you say, ladies. People generally have no idea how much power the tongue has. You can definitely speak things into existence, and if you’re not careful you’ll speak the worst into your own life. Here’s an obvious tip for Valentine’s Day to the fellas… If a woman starts trippin’ on you about Valentine’s Day, she has feelings for you! Guys, we have to pay attention to these things. You’re only digging your own grave if you choose to ignore the little things and be an ignoramus all around. You’ll never get keep a woman like that. However, as Enitan Bereola, II stated on twitter, “LADIES’ TIP: Your boyfriend ain’t your husband … don’t expect him to act like 1 until he is. #Pleasantries.” He didn’t forget to address the gentlemen as well. “GENTLEMAN’S TIP: Your girlfriend ain’t your wife … don’t expect her to act like 1 until she is. #Pleasantries.” (Whether you’re a lady or gentleman, if you’re not following @bereolaesque on twitter, you are asleep my friend.)
I don’t see myself as a basher of women, just a realist. I’ve had some not so nice experiences with women at a young age, and it leads me to believe that they definitely don’t always have your best interest at heart. However, I also have had some beautiful experiences with beautiful women. Those experiences keep my heart from being cold. I’m a firm believe in equality. Treat others the way you want to be treated, etc. Don’t start playing games with someone’s feelings, then get mad and bitter when the favor is returned. What goes around, comes around! Remember that.
In conclusion, I’d just like for women to remember a few things about men. There are still gentlemen in the world, however, it’s up to you to decipher who’s real and who’s posing. Yes.. guys WILL deceive you to get what they want. But don’t take it out on the ones who are actually gentlemen. If you really care about a guy and want to be with him, don’t let anybody or anything stop you from getting what you want. We all know good men are hard to come by these days, so if you have one, hold on to him, because there are plenty of other women that will scoop him up as soon as you let go. Last but not least, the golden rule… put God first and everything will fall into place.
Twitter – @CrisC0
Facebook – Percy ‘CrisCo’ Nelson
Percy H. Nelson
22 years old
UCF Alumnus – BA in Art
Member of D.W.E.E.B.S. Dance Crew (2010 BET Spring Bling: Revamped Champions)
Founder/CEO of GRAZIGNER-Graphic Design
Likes: Dancing, Singing, Spending time with family/friends, food, watching movies, beautiful women, laughing, new experiences/adventures, graphic design, music!
Dislikes: Ignorant and obnoxious people, lacefronts, liars, hypocrites, prideful attitudes, etc. You get the idea. (I could go on for a while. lol)
Percy H. Nelson
Freelance Graphic Artist
- A Reality Check This Valentine’s Day: Would You Marry You (your-story.org)
- This Valentine’s Day, Think about “Settling” (chicagoist.com)
- 3 Reasons Why Men Forget Valentine’s Day (ksfm.radio.com)
- Men don’t hate Valentine’s Day, they fear it: study (windsorstar.com)