The story that I related in Yours, Mine, & Ours, as well as some other things going on in my life (and in my head) have gotten me to change focus a bit as far as the marriage kits book I’m working on. If you’ve noticed a dearth in posted interviews or topical posts on marriage, this is why. I’ve been trying to decide what I wanted to do with the book part of it, and what I wanted to share here. But back to the change in focus.
All of this time that I’ve been asking all of these people all of these questions, there has been one question (and quite possibly only one) I could answer myself: What did you learn about marriage growing up. As per usual, my answer is not a short and sweet one, but rather a lengthy one, citing several different episodes that have influenced my thinking on the subject. Once I started trying to parcel out all of the examples of marriage and the experiences that have led me to look for certain things in a marriage relationship, I realize how important those experiences are to what this book is about.
The only thing is, many of these stories involve other people, some who other people won’t be able to identify, and others whom they can. So of course I have to figure out how not to get sued if this idea ever actually becomes a book.
It’s hard not to be…delicate with myself. I have to tell all the truth but tell it slant, as Emily Dickinson wrote. I’m only telling the truth as it pertains to my perception of what marriage is supposed to be or ought to be, not what it is. I’m also going to have to tell some things about myself and my own thought process that I’d rather not.
I remember when I first started to have a little inkling of an idea to write about marriage in a non-fiction way–this was even before Mr. Perfect–I was at Red Lobster with my minister & his wife, the couple from It’s Only Love That Gets You Through (whose interview is coming, I promise!), Elder #1 & his wife (maybe–or elder #2; this was over 4 years ago), and some other people. All married couples–and me. Of course the topic of marriage came up, as well as submission. I’ve never been shy to answer anything and justify it, so I gave my answer when asked (I only vaguely remember the question). I remember my minister laughed at me. “That’s how you think it’s going to be in marriage?” he said between giggles. Mrs. Loving smiled at me knowingly. It was very funny to everyone. I don’t think they were amused by my ideas; just that I thought it was as simple as that.
So, I’m doing a little interior discovery at the moment. How much of that will end up here, I don’t know. But I am interested in hearing from you guys. What did you learn about marriage growing up, either directly (through speech or seeing) or something you inferred from what you saw/experienced?
P.S. In case you’re wondering–the Camp NaNoWriMo story is going really well; the word count…well, let’s not talk about the word count. 🙂
- It’s Only Love That Gets You Through: Mr. & Mrs. Loving – The Introduction (2blu2btru.wordpress.com)
- Relationships: Marriage (sela12.wordpress.com)
- Barth on marriage (some notes from CD III/4) (cruciality.wordpress.com)
- Yours, Mine & Ours (2blu2btru.wordpress.com)