, , ,

I almost titled this post “Missed it by That Much”, but I thought this was more to the point. For some reason I have a problem with guys and best friends dating back to grade school, a double edged problem.

It all started when Jordan*, who I loved with all the force my pre-pubescent heart could muster, made it clear he was more interested in my best friend. Well, really! Just cut my heart out! She already had a boyfriend and assured him (and me) that she wasn’t interested. I can’t be sure if it was out of loyalty to our friendship or simply because she was taken ( from what I heard, she dealt with the boyfriend she had FOREVER and they have at least one child together. Mind you, this is a 4th grade boyfriend…wow!)

To be fair, I somehow always tended to have really attractive friends (could it be all my attractive male family members? NO, a girl would NEVER use someone that way…right?). I was usually the ugly girl in the group. I was used to being passed over very early on in my dating years (and was honestly confused when boys wanted to date me in college seemingly out of the blue). But there were two things I wasn’t prepared for: an “ex” moving on to my best friend, or being the girl who started “talking” to one guy only to become smitten with the best friend.

Both of these best friend blunders occured freshman year of college. I had been getting to know Quentin* since just after my acceptance to college at his school. We had a lot in common, including the church we belonged to (which was a BIG deal). However, after finally meeting him, a didn’t hear from him much. It was the whole “I love you” thing all over again; I’d dropped the ball, yet I didn’t know how. After a telling off by my best friend, he called me all upset (sure wish I could access that journal–stupid MDD), and it was all over with except the shouting. On campus, I met his oft mentioned roommate/ best friend Trent (ps: these names aren’t very imaginative today; sorry). Trent was light skinned, well-built, sweet as could be, with a great smile and intelligence just for kicks. THIS was the guy I should be with. But Trent and Quentin had been friends practically since birth; how scuzzy would I be to go after Trent? Sure, Quentin & I hadn’t exactly dated,  but still…

Just a week later, B-Boy calls me (from the “I love you” post). I hadn’t talked to him since just before senior year. Why was he calling? He “wanted to know if I would be cool” with him going after my best friend, Mz. Trill. To make a long story short, Mz. Trill got to curse out two of my almost boyfriend’s in one week! She was over the moon, obviously.

Looking back, I wonder who handled their jones for the best friend better. B-Boy had at least waited a good amount of time and went for what he wanted, while I…well, I would never know. That is, I wouldn’t if I hadn’t sent that facebook message…