, , , , ,

I bet some of you were wondering what the real point of yesterday’s post was. It wasn’t to drag your poor man through the bridal shop or ring shopping, or to make a playlist like you’re a DJ (or Disk Jockey, as Pink Susie insists on saying). The point is, wedding things are addictive.

I’ve never understood all the fuss, the bridezillas, the “it’s all about the bride,” the obsession over the ring. I’ve always been focused on before and after the wedding, on finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and actually spending the rest of your life with them. I only vaguely acknowledged the ceremony beyond wanting to wear the whitest white I can find and wanting to be married in a church (and of course, the playlist).

But Saturday, I caught a bit of the wedding fever (prematurely, of course). I was thinking about dresses, wedding bands, neat little guestbook ideas (like the photo booth thing), sensual underwear…all that wedding day stuff. When we came back, we discussed colors, whether or not we wanted a unity candle, whether or not we want to jump the broom, picked our favorite songs for a playlist, talked about a possible venue, how many people in a wedding party. Then my thoughts yesterday centered on things like save the dates, invitations, bridal party gifts and wedding favors. It was wedding overload, but on my (possible) wedding.

If Mr. Perfect and I do tie the knot, it won’t be a long, 12-18 month engagement as is typical now; it will be at most six months (depending on venue). It doesn’t hurt, then, to have some ideas beforehand. But the best thing about our hypothetical planning venture, aside from both of us getting to have a little input in usually restricted areas (he in the gown and I in the ring), is the fact that we were doing it together.

The truth is, I still don’t understand bridezillas and the “it’s all about the bride” mentality. The wedding is one of the first real tests of how you will handle conflict and difference of opinion in your relationship. If it makes Mr. P. happy, I can concede and let him play Wu Tang’s “Triumph” at the reception (although it has nothing to do with love and marriage, nor is it a song with a dance attached to it). How the wedding planning goes can be a good indication of how the future will be, not in what may go wrong at the last minute, but in how we plan and how we respond to things not going according to plan.

I have to admit, thinking about sporting a nice symbol of love and affection on my left hand  and planning a wedding are pretty fun. But for me, it will always be more about what comes after: a beautiful life together.