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I asked this question on Twitter, but I didn’t get much of an answer, so let’s see what happens here. When you go through a break up, what do you do? How do you get yourself together, or do you even need to get yourself together?

I haven’t been through a real “break up” before, so the closest I can come to it is to losing a loved one (which is probably way worse, depending on who it is, right?). I found out my stepdad died on a Tuesday evening. The next day, I got up and went to work. When I told my boss (where I was not a permanent employee) that I needed to take some time off for the funeral, he asked me if I wanted to go home. “What for?”

You see, I like to be busy when I have to deal with bad things like this. I will go to work, cook, clean, serve folks. That’s what I did then. I went home and I served plates and refilled drinks, I helped the children, I cleaned the house for my mom, I supported her through the funeral. I turn all that frantic energy into something focused. I pray, whenever I can get my wits together for long enough to, the entire time. Cleaning and being busy helps me think clearly.

I know other people who aren’t like this. I know people who like to call me (go figure) and cry out every detail (in confidence, of course). They just have to tell someone their side of the story, what happened, how they feel. They want to know what I think they should do. Then they ask someone else…and someone else. Eventually, I guess, all this retelling begins to take the sting out of it.

Some people like to be alone with the ice cream like in the movies, or they cut their exes out of pictures. Some disappear into self-improvement. I’m sure some damage cars and personal property of the no-longer boo.

So, what do you do following a break up? How do you get yourself over the hump emotionally and begin to move on with your life? Leave a comment in the comments section or email me at 2blu2btru4u@gmail.com.