Previously, on Indigo Moods…
There are four categories of friends I no longer require in my life: jellyfishers, plan breakers, frenemies, and patients.
Jellyfishers: In Bridget Jones’ Diary, a jellyfisher is characterized this way: engaging in a conversation with them is like swimming through a school of jellyfish. They are always saying things to hurt you. They make no apologies and often hide behind telling it like it is; this is NOT the same thing. They are saying what they say to be cruel and hurt people, not for any helpful purpose.
Plan Breakers: I hate making plans with people who never show up, either not bothering to cancel or canceling at the last minute. They either “forget,” something came up, or their money wasn’t right every time. You pretty much begin to take it for granted that they aren’t coming. You start saying things like, “Well, Demalaquishalashanette* sadi she was coming, but you know how that goes.” You get tired of making time and spending money when they don’t show up.
Frenemies: They smile in your face…We’ve all seen Mean Girls (well, actually, I haven’t); this is the girl who claims to be your friend, but repeatedly stabs you in the back. You know you can’t trust her, but you have to keep an eye on her at all times. Besides, you occasionally have some good times and it looks like things will be different–then she stabs you in the back again.
The Patient: We all need support and/or advice at some point in time. We all need just a bit of hand holding and coddling. But there are some friends who use you like a free therapist. They always have an issue and never have an answer. If you have a problem, they have a bigger one that needs to be addressed now. They only ever want you to validate them, whether they are right or wrong. You’re their friend; you’re supposed to back them up. They aren’t able to help you work through any issue, they are never available to go out if the outing doesn’t benefit them, and they are never, ever “fine” (with no complaints).
Also bad are friendships where all you have in common is gossiping about someone else’s personal business; you use them for free rides and to go places for free, but you don’t really like them; you hang around them to “up you status” or; you keep them around to “look on their paper,” or cheat your way through life.
These friendships are draining, time sucking, and emotionally hurtful. These relationships aren’t adding anything new to my life. It’s time to move forward and sever these junk frienships.
But how? Up next, Start: Developing Meaningful Friendships