, , , ,

That moment when you’ve been through so many of these, that the sight of this one almost/does break you down…-personal photo

So far in this challenge, it has been easy to do the exercises in an easy breezy manner if you’ve wanted. It’s been up to you to be as naked as you were willing to be; this is not one of those exercises where you get to do that. Today’s exercise is serious business.

Most people know what the term rock bottom means, but in case you don’t, a definition:

The culmination of a descent to a place where a person has nothing left to lose in terms of possessions, status, wealth and perhaps even shelter, food and warmth as a result of self-destructive behaviour-via Wikipedia “Rock Bottom

There are times in life when we feel as if things couldn’t get any worse…yet they do. This is not that. This is the lowest possible level, where there is nowhere to go but up. Many people think of this as a horrible place to be. The feelings of failure and helplessness can be overwhelming, but there is a positive side to rock bottom.

The positive side isn’t that it won’t get any worse, but that you get to build your life back how you want it to be. It’s a fresh starting place, stripped of all the artifice and outside definitions. There is no more “keeping up appearances” at rock bottom; you are wiped off the map and everyone knows it. There’s freedom in that. J.K. Rowling says it this way:

I was set free because my greatest fear had been realized, and I still had a daughter who I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. J. K. Rowling Read more at  Brainy Quotes

Let’s talk about your self-acceptance rock bottom. Maybe this came when you failed at something at which you always believed you were the best. Maybe you gained weight or failed out of school. Maybe you went through a bad break up or struggled with addiction. Maybe, like me, you couldn’t look at yourself in the mirror for three years. Maybe you tried to take your life. What shattered your self-esteem and self-worth? Have you reached your self-esteem rock bottom? When you cleared out all of the rubble of what you used to think about yourself, what was left?

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t want to do this exercise. I don’t want to go back to that place. At the same time, I know that place will keep finding me wherever I decide to run, and at some point, you just have to deal with it.