I’ve been trying to get Mr. Perfect to watch Friends with Benefits with me ever since I bought it in March. Even though it’s bawdy and raunchy and not the least how I would like my love story to go, I love the way that it mocks romantic comedies, yet manages to give one of the best endings of any modern romantic comedy (classics such as When Harry Met Sally, Forget Paris, and Sleepless in Seattle aside). It makes eloquent use of songs like “Jump” by Kriss Kross and “Closing Time” by Semisonic. I care about the characters. It’s a good story. But I really just want him to watch it to create a memory I can use later.
That’s right; I will manufacture a memory to orchestrate a future endeavor. I want to be able to do all this really sentimental things at my wedding, tell a romantic proposal story, and make a kick butt scrapbook of our awesome adventures. It speaks to my creative soul. I think I would be that girl that would make someone do something again if I missed a great photo opp.
The thing is, we all have memorable moments; they just don’t always happen when we are looking our best or translate well when we try to tell others. Wanting things to be perfect keeps me from making some really “me” memories. If I look too fat in a picture or my hair is a mess, the moment is ruined, and it doesn’t have to be.
As I was thinking about this, I thought of “our” movie. Our movie is I Think I Love My Wife. I mentioned this in an email before we were official, & we discovered we both had an affinity for it. It was the first movie we watched together as a couple (in a long and storied movie going experience). We quote it often and refer to it frequently. But it’s a movie in which a man almost cheats on his wife and has a passive title. (You think you love your wife? What?) It’s not the most romantic portrayal of love & commitment, you know? But the movie is significant to is, which is what should matter.
The problem with manufacturing memories is that you are the only one attached to them. For example, I know what the perfect first dance song for us would be. It was on a CD I made for Mr. P. for his birthday after about two months of talking. How cute, right? But Mr. P. has no idea where that CD is, & likes a completely different first dance song that doesn’t have a cute story or significance in our relationship. Besides, we aren’t engaged; why is this important.
I could say that I’ve been influenced by Pinterest and such to want to create the perfect themed life events, but honestly, I’ve always rewritten moments or planned things out in my head for maximum effect. I’m the girl who made myself a Valentine’s mix tape, bought a teddy bear, & took myself to dinner and a movie (a V-Day date not tipped for YEARS…I know how to treat myself, I tell you). I have been developing the soundtrack of my life’s story since grade school. I fantasize about my class reunion. I’m a writer; manufacturing is kind of my business.
Someone please tell me I’m not the only one who makes people do things again so I can get a picture or plans events years in advance? Has anyone else been guilty of putting the cart before the horse? Have you made it a lifestyle like me?