There’s an issue that I keep coming back to in my mind. It was really brought to the forefront on Tuesday. Mr. Perfect received some bad news and was really upset about it. I called him as I was finishing preparations for dinner. I had learned about his bad day through social media and decided to cook him dinner and commiserate with him.
I, on the other hand, was home from an awesome day in which I had gotten a ton of work done and came home to cook a pretty tasty meal. I was having a great time trying something new with the steaks. I had also tried something new with my Sunday dinner, making almond and pecan crusted tilapia with a lemon butter sauce. I drank nearly 48 oz. of water and had eaten a nice lunch, so I didn’t feel sluggish in that afternoon. I was in a really good mood.
I called Mr. P. to see if he had eaten when the food was almost done and invited him over. He was in my apartment complex walking around, venting while I put the finishing touches on our meal and made soothing noises. It took some prompting to get him to come in and sit down to eat. He was so wound up and upset about it.
I never know what to say to him at times like this. I can offer solutions, but this rarely helps the situation. I try to share my optimistic perspective, but that doesn’t always go over well with my realist partner. I try to commiserate as far as possible, but if there is nothing to be done, I don’t always see the point in just being angry.
I used to get sustainably angry and despondent about things, but I worked hard at changing my perspective. In case I would forget, I have several journals worth of proof that my life is fundamentally different. I can’t pinpoint when all of these changes took place, but I know they have. As such, I don’t so well in this part of the potential wife role. I can encourage and be optimistic or offer solutions, but if those don’t work, I don’t really know how to be if any help.
I don’t know if these are skills that wives acquire through years if hard work or hours of prayer, or if I’m just supposed to be inherently suited to soothing the man that is for me. Any wives out there that know, feel free to comment or contact me.
How do you comfort your significant other? How do you “talk them off the ledge?” Was it something instinctual or acquired? Am I overreacting or I this a big deal?