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If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, then you’ve seen my quotes from an old favorite I am rereading through new eyes, A Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster. I’m not reading the whole book; rather, I’m rereading the section on the discipline of submission to start my year long focus on submission. So far, I’m seeing a lot of things, both in the text and in myself, that I did not see before.

I’m having a rough time adjusting to some of the changes I’ve been making, and I’m not the only one. Change is never easy for me, and getting so far out of my comfort zone is an exercise in humility and tongue biting like I’ve never had before. In ..A Celebration of Discipline, Foster states that “usually the best way to handle most matters of submission is to say nothing.” That’s a hard one for me. As someone who feels the need to justify, clarify, and be taken seriously, it’s difficult sometimes not to say exactly how I feel. I’m used to picking and choosing my words carefully, but having to say nothing, to just surrender it and watch God work it out is both a relief and an anxiety.

The thing is, I can already see how much my decision to change has affected my environment. I already see God working. My boss asked me to organize my workspace a certain way. I happen to think that I work just fine in my workspace the way I had it organized, but at the same time, changing it to suit her wasn’t going to make it more difficult for me to get things accomplished. So I began to work on it. My workspace is a lot more efficient, my boss is happy with it, and I still get work on. A coworker even gave me a Sony alarm to play my iPod on that fits a lot better into my workspace, an unexpected bonus that allowed me to bring my sound bar home to enjoy.

There have been a few small victories and a LOT of anxieties and uncertainties. There have been a lot of moments when I want to give up and slide back into old habits, especially when it comes to the tongue. But I have no doubt that I’m going in the right direction, even with things around me start to look a little unfamiliar.

I hope that the lesson today at church is just what I need to hear to keep me encouraged.