Day 5: In the Flesh

Before or After?

¹² Let not sin therefore rule as king in your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies, to make you yield to its cravings and be subject to its lusts and evil passions…¹⁶ Do you not know that if you continually surrender yourselves to anyone to do his will, you are the slaves of him whom you obey, whether that be to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience which leads to righteousness (right doing and right standing with God)? Romans 6:12, 16 AMP

Back when Celebrity Fit Club was on, they had a season in which they featured Willie Aames of Charles in Charge fame. Aames is a “born again Christian” and ordained minister and seems jovial enough until one day he just gets sick of the whole thing. When producers confront him, he angrily punches a door and through gritted teeth exclaims “You are getting me so in the flesh right now!” before slamming the door. This scene has always stuck with me, not because of the shot of a partially clothed former child star (*shivers in disgust*), but because of what he said.

I’m sure someone thought this exercise was going to be about sex or body image, and it can be, but it’s deeper than that. This exercise is about “the flesh” as in our carnal mind and desires. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” It means that there are things we really want to do, but our carnal side holds us back. While for some this is their lust fo someone physically, for others it’s a much sneakier thing, like overindulgence in food, laziness, talking too much, gossiping, shopping excessively, not being able to control angry impulses, pride, arrogance, jealousy, addiction–anything that makes it impossible for your more lofty goals to be reached, for your higher purpose to be attained.

The truth of the matter is, while you may have unpacked some painful things that have been done to you already (or will in future exercises), at the end of all the excuses we find ourselves. At the end of all inner struggle is the fight to make our flesh obey our spirit.

So, talk about what you find yourself repeatedly struggling with that is keeping you from being able to grow in your life. What fleshly vices are you struggling to control?

 

Related articles

• Flesh and Spirit (soaringwithgod.com)

Day 4: Bare Bottom

Tags

JK Rowling, rock bottom, self-acceptance, Self-esteem, self-worth

That moment when you’ve been through so many of these, that the sight of this one almost/does break you down…-personal photo

So far in this challenge, it has been easy to do the exercises in an easy breezy manner if you’ve wanted. It’s been up to you to be as naked as you were willing to be; this is not one of those exercises where you get to do that. Today’s exercise is serious business.

Most people know what the term rock bottom means, but in case you don’t, a definition:

The culmination of a descent to a place where a person has nothing left to lose in terms of possessions, status, wealth and perhaps even shelter, food and warmth as a result of self-destructive behaviour-via Wikipedia “Rock Bottom“

There are times in life when we feel as if things couldn’t get any worse…yet they do. This is not that. This is the lowest possible level, where there is nowhere to go but up. Many people think of this as a horrible place to be. The feelings of failure and helplessness can be overwhelming, but there is a positive side to rock bottom.

The positive side isn’t that it won’t get any worse, but that you get to build your life back how you want it to be. It’s a fresh starting place, stripped of all the artifice and outside definitions. There is no more “keeping up appearances” at rock bottom; you are wiped off the map and everyone knows it. There’s freedom in that. J.K. Rowling says it this way:

I was set free because my greatest fear had been realized, and I still had a daughter who I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. J. K. Rowling Read more at  Brainy Quotes

Let’s talk about your self-acceptance rock bottom. Maybe this came when you failed at something at which you always believed you were the best. Maybe you gained weight or failed out of school. Maybe you went through a bad break up or struggled with addiction. Maybe, like me, you couldn’t look at yourself in the mirror for three years. Maybe you tried to take your life. What shattered your self-esteem and self-worth? Have you reached your self-esteem rock bottom? When you cleared out all of the rubble of what you used to think about yourself, what was left?

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t want to do this exercise. I don’t want to go back to that place. At the same time, I know that place will keep finding me wherever I decide to run, and at some point, you just have to deal with it.

Related articles

• Hitting Rock Bottom Can Be A Most Positive Place (craigkimbrough1.wordpress.com)
• Did You Know They Were Once Homeless? 9 Celebs Who Hit Rock Bottom Before They Reached Fame (styleblazer.com)
• Rock Bottom (nicolephinney.wordpress.com)

Day 3: Birthday Suit

Tags

birth, Birthday, redefining, shaping

Happy Birthday–Personal Photo

Don’t forget to stand naked in the mirror and choose one thing you like about yourself every day of the challenge. Post your empowering song (or painting or saying) and one thing you are grateful for on each post as well.

Births and birthdays can be very telling about who you are. In the movie Big Fish, the tale of the main character’s birth (a tall tale, by the way), serves to set up the high expectation that he wasn’t going to be an ordinary person. In our lives, we have benchmark birthdays that we make a special effort to celebrate or comically dread. I have friends who celebrate not just their birthday, but birth week or even birth month, and I have friends who don’t celebrate their birthday for religious reasons I don’t quite have a full grasp on. Whether we celebrate excessively or not at all, our birthdays can be good stopping places upon which to reflect and think back over your life.

There are other significant birthdays that have nothing to do with your birthday that you can choose to celebrate: your baptism or spiritual birth, the day you graduated high school or college, your anniversary or marital birth, the births of your children, or your maternal birth, etc. These are moments in which we enter a brand new world, or at least see that world with brand new eyes. We take on new roles that define us–adult, worker, spouse, parent–and start writing on that blank slate with which we’ve started out.

Tell the story of your birth and any significant birthdays you’ve had. Tell how they shaped you or redefined you.

Related articles

• Origin of Birthday Cake and Birthday Candles (proflowers.com)
• My Birthday. Turning 24 (twinklingcloud.wordpress.com)

Day 2: Naked Nightmares

Tags

avoidance, Fear, Naked Challenge, nightmares, starting over

Personal Photo (aka grainy cell phone pic)

Once I had a dream that I was supposed to be speaking somewhere, but I couldn’t speak because I had a mouth full of feces…literal feces. It was packed in so tight I couldn’t breathe. I was literally shoveling feces out of my mouth. I can’t remember how it got there or anything, but that image has stuck with me. I can make a bunch of bad scatological jokes about eating feces, feces eating grins, shoveling feces, and being full of feces, but the reality is this dream was terrifying. Luckily, it’s not a recurring nightmare.

I find that I can put off thinking about a great many things during the day, but at night, my subconscious is quick to let me know that those things are still simmering beneath the surface. Things that bother you deeply have a way of continuing to come up until you deal with them.

One of my coworkers is going through a separation type situation with her husband. She decided that she needed a fresh start and would wipe out all of the old after all of this began happening, but not too long after she was hired, a new temp began working who knew her and her husband. She was instantly upset. Here was one more person she would have to tell, a person she knew would be sad to hear about the split and wanting to know what happened, a Christian person she felt would try to encourage her to try and get back with her husband. I told her when she explained why she was so upset about the new temp that you can’t just “start over” without ending the old like that; until you deal with things, they’re just going to keep cropping up. God is funny that way; He wants you to deal with things, to overcome them. How rude, right?

Yesterday was a softball; today, it’s time to dig deeper. What are your nightmares? What do you dread thinking about or being faced with? What is your greatest fear? Why do you think this thing bothers you so much? What would remove this fear from your life?

Don’t forget to post a new thing you like about yourself, your empowering song (or painting, or saying, etc) for the day and one thing for which you are grateful.

XOXO

2blu2btru

Related articles

• Day 1: Naked in the Morning (2blu2btru.wordpress.com)
• The Naked Rules (2blu2btru.wordpress.com)

Day 1: Naked in the Morning

Tags

day 1, morning, Naked Challenge, who I am

alarm clock, bought from IKEA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is your new thing now

Naked as a rose

Everything exposed

But not quite

This is your new thing now

Cards out on the table

A genius with no label

But not quite, not quite

                                                -Shawn Colvin

                                            New Thing Now

When I wake up in the morning, I am a mess. My hair is sticking out in every direction. My sleepwear is bunched up in uncomfortable places. There is crust in my eyes and maybe the dried crust of a trickle of saliva running along one cheek if I’ve had a good sleep. There are creases on one side of my face. A limb that was slept on wrong is asleep and shoots tiny pinpricks of pain up an arm of leg when I try to use it. My neck has a crook in it. I can barely see. Not to mention the non-physical effects: I am a bit fuzzy. Sometimes I don’t know where I am for a moment or two. I can be startled by the alarm clock and nearly jump out of my skin. I am trying to make sense of a half remembered piece of a dream. “Why was there crap stuffed down my throat that I was trying to shovel out with my fingers?” (This scatological nightmare will be revisited later). I am good for nothing until I’ve completed my first morning ritual. For me, this includes going to the bathroom, checking twitter, and having a glass of soda (pop).  Maybe you go to the bathroom, drink a cup of coffee, make your bed, or wash your face. Maybe you start off your day with a prayer. Once you get the ball rolling for the first few minutes, once you can come to yourself, then you can begin the task of getting yourself into an acceptable condition in which to interact with the world.

But let’s stay with you, au naturel, just waking up–when you stretch, rub your eyes; scratch something, just before you start your day; in those quiet moments when you are coming to yourself, who are you? We all have different roles that we have to play. Some of us are students; others are workers. Some of us are wives, mothers, sisters, friends, bosses, colleagues, fellow church members, and/or a fellow train or bus rider on the way to work. But who are we really?

When I was in high school, my ethics teacher taught this annoying exercise where we had to answer this question. There didn’t seem to be an appropriate answer. If you said you were a Christian, he said “That’s your religion.” If you said you were Italian, he said “that’s your nationality.” If you said you were a student, a republican, a fun loving person, a boxer, or a chain smoker, your answer was similarly wrong. I don’t know if we ever agreed to anything. While this annoyed everyone, it did serve to help us realize that the things that we put such stock in aren’t really “us.” There are so many things that make up who we are, it’s very difficult to sum us up with just one descriptive word.

I won’t attempt to make you do that, but I think it’s something to consider. I think that the fact that I am a Christian says a lot about me. Knowing that, there are certain things you would expect of me, some which are erroneous and some which are understood to be the characteristics of a Christian. However, it doesn’t tell you everything about me. Am I funny? Do I sing loud in my car? What’s my favorite color? Do I like children? What bad habit do I have that I want to break? How did I get that scar above my eyebrow?

Without factoring in anything you are for or to anybody else, I want you to tell me who you are. Who is the naked you? You can include whatever you want—except a picture of yourself nude. I want you to define yourself for yourself. BUT whatever you write, you have to include something that leaves you a little bit naked, a little exposed. It may be helpful for you to describe you morning routine. What are the first thoughts that you think each day?

Don’t forget to put one thing you like about yourself, your empowering song for the day (or painting, or whatever you’ve decided to use) and one thing you are grateful for in this entry. Also, if you feel comfortable, include a horrible bathroom picture of yourself so we can put a face to your posts.

Related articles

• Do You Have First-Thing-in-the-Morning Ugly Paranoia? (bellasugar.com)

The Naked Rules

Tags

guidelines, Naked Challenge, rules

If you are reading this because you have decided to join the Naked Challenge, I’m so pleased and excited to have you on board! If you read the introduction, Let’s Get Naked, you know where the idea of this challenge came from, but you may be wondering exactly what this challenge entails and what you will need to get through it. I have compiled a list of materials and guidelines to help you get the most out of this challenge.

(This is a 30 day challenge and will begin tomorrow, July 1st. However, if you find this after that date and want to participate, feel free to join us.)

First, you don’t have to post any of your challenges online. I would like to see what you are coming up with, but if getting naked in front of a bunch of strangers (metaphorically speaking) stunts your ability to be truly vulnerable and naked in the exercise, you don’t have to post it. If you aren’t comfortable posting, and perhaps if you only want to post some of your reflections, you will need a journal to write in.

Second, there is one part of this challenge that MUST be done EVERY DAY. It is the centerpiece of the challenge. Every day, you must stand in the mirror naked and identify one thing that you like about yourself. Each thing must be unique (you cannot say the same thing twice). At least 2/3 of these things (or twenty) must be physical attributes. This would be most effective in a full length mirror. Note: DO NOT post any Naked pictures of yourself online in association with this challenge.

Thirdly, two other things that I would like you to do daily are to pick an empowering song for the day, and to name one thing you are grateful for.  Music is something I really connect with, but if you love painting and want to find an inspirational painting a day, that’s fine, too. Pick something that speaks to you. One of the most important parts of this challenge for me is to shift focus from the negative to the positive. One way to do this is to state one thing you are grateful for. You don’t have to elaborate if you don’t want to; a simple sentence will do. This can be the same thing each day, but I would prefer that you dig deeper and find something new each day.

Fourthly, I would like for anyone participating to link to the exercise post for that day so I can see what the exercises are bringing forth (if you feel like sharing). If you don’t want to share publicly, feel free to email me at 2blu2btru4u@gmail.com with questions, guidance, revelations, etc.

Note: I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, relationship coach, minister, or resident know it all. If any of the challenges bring up any feelings best handled by a mental health professional, spiritual counselor, or medical professional, please seek a qualified person in these fields. I do have access to ministers and mental health counselors who I can refer general questions to, but having someone you can speak with personally is essential (and someone who is not a friend rowing in the same boat that you are).

Lastly, I will be doing the exercises as well. There will be a link on Naked and Not Ashamed page to my posts on my personal blog.

I hope you all get something wonderful out of this challenge and share it with a friend!

XOXO

2blu2btru

 

Related articles

• Be willing to go naked. (eliseonlife.wordpress.com)
• Fresh-Faced for 40 Days: Because You Should Love What You Look Like Naked (melissajenna.com)

Let’s Get Naked!

Tags

exposure, Guilt, naked, Naked Challenge, Self-esteem, shame, vulnerability

English: Adam and Eve were both naked & were not ashamed, as in Genesis 2:25: “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (KJV) illustration from the 1728 Figures de la Bible; illustrated by Gerard Hoet (1648–1733) and others, and published by P. de Hondt in The Hague; image courtesy Bizzell Bible Collection, University of Oklahoma Libraries (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

During the Marriage and Family Workshop in December, I taught a lesson on Purity that I was really proud of…until I went to Sister Tartt’s lesson the next night. She really laid out some things that we as younger unmarried women deal with: sin, shame, self-esteem, negative thinking, etc. During that time she issued a challenge that boggled my mind and I couldn’t imagine doing. I wasn’t the only one; as I looked around at the faces of teenagers and young ladies, I noticed that most of them didn’t exactly look like they were going to do it either.I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and wondering why I found it so hard to do this. I like a challenge. But this one…well, let’s start at the beginning, shall we? There was a period in the middle school/ high school range where I didn’t look at myself in the mirror for about three years. I saw my reflection when I washed my face, under thick white face cream, but I couldn’t really tell you what I looked like. I was suffering from a big self-esteem issue and feeling ugly. Long story short, I wrote a highly acclaimed memoir piece on it and moved on.

However, the challenge that was issued was deeper than looking in the mirror.  How many of us look in the mirror and immediately zero in on every little imperfection we see? I know my eyes immediately go to my stomach. We check ourselves over looking for imperfection: do I see a wrinkle? Is that a new fat roll? My skin looks so bad. My teeth are getting yellow. I think I see cellulite. Where’s the imperfection? I have to find and sigh over the imperfection.

This attitude can creep into many aspects of our lives, until we are always finding fault with ourselves and becoming stagnated. We begin to hide things we’re ashamed of rather than dealing with them. It’s almost as if we get some sick enjoyment out of taking our insecurities out and sighing over them. We wonder why things don’t change no matter what we try, when deep down we know that we have so much we are so busy hiding, we are too weighed down to make any progress.

As I was reading in Genesis, I came across the phrase “naked and unashamed.” Most commentaries point out the implications of this sexually–the establishment of the institution of marriage and how sexuality can be freely expressed within it. But what stood out to me this time I read it was the fact that when they heard God, they hid because they were naked; I highly doubt that God was going to walk up on the en flagrante, so I can only conclude that after the fall, they began to associate their nakedness, their exposure, with something to be ashamed of, to be hidden. They couldn’t be exposed and vulnerable before God anymore; they were afraid.

Nakedness makes you vulnerable. When I’m wearing clothes, I can choose a cute top that camouflages my stomach and emphasizes my chest,  or wear jeans that cover the cellulite. When I am hiding insecurities, I can put on a know it all attitude or emphasize my strengths. But there’s something about being naked and not having anything to hide behind that cleanses the palate, allows you to wipe away what you used to be and the guilt or shame associated with it. Now you can start anew to rebuild.

Are you willing to get naked with yourself, to become vulnerable and really see who you really are behind all of the artifice? If so, join me in taking the Naked Challenge! You can join by emailing me at 2blu2btru4u@gmail.com or linking to this post. In the introduction post, you will find the general guidelines to the challenge. However, let me state this guideline here as well for emphasis: the main component to the challenge DOES require actual physical nakedness, but there is NO need for anyone else to see that. Please do NOT post any naked pictures of yourself anywhere in association with this challenge.

Remember, you can find the challenge exercises on the Naked & Not Ashamed page on this blog. I hope you’ll join me!

XOXO

2blu2btru

Related articles

• How to Look Good Naked (mhagan0.wordpress.com)
• Do You Ever Feel Naked? (otitijasmine.com)