I’m sure you all have heard by now that Facebook is breaking up happy homes all across the land and country. The argument is that Facebook provides you with easy access to everyone from your high school sweetheart to the stripper you hired for a friend’s bachelor party to the random guy who lived in your dorm or had Statistics with you. Whenever you’re feeling discontented with your relationship, you can hop on Facebook and see if you’ve “still got it” so to speak by chatting it up with one of your 800 friends. The one thing I hadn’t counted on was the honesty box.
You may remember the honesty box. It was all the rage a couple of years ago on Facebook. With this app, you could leave anonymous messages for someone. It evolved to the point where your honesty box could ask a specific question, and eventually to the point where you could “pay” (using points, I believe) to find out who the anonymous sender was.
I didn’t think too much about the responses that I got to my honesty box questions until I got a message that said this guy (Anon.) thought I was beautiful and he had a crush on me. He went on to add a but–a big but. What was the but?
I was busily racking my brain over the first part of this message when the second part filtered through: “but I am married and happy.” Umm, what? At the time, I knew quite a few people who were married, but no one I would think had a crush on me. To be honest, I couldn’t think of anyone, married or not, that had a crush on me since that one guy in the fifth grade (which is a whole other Love Chronicles installation :D).
Now it was bothering me. Never mind that he (whoever he was) was married and happy, and I was in a long term relationship. I didn’t want to date him; I just wanted to know who it was. You can’t leave a comment like that and then go on about your life!
Which isn’t exactly true. I’d done it more than once. I’d told guys I had crushes on them through their honest box. I told them how great their bodies were, etc. I never revealed who I was either. I’m sure there are a few guys out there who were scratching their heads trying to figure out who was behind that little pink bar expressing crushes and all manner of silliness.
I thought about if it would be worth it to offer some points in exchange for finding out that person’s identity. But then I thought: do I really want to know? I mean, what if it had truly been a missed opportunity, someone I had really liked? Knowing that wouldn’t make it any less missed. I was in a relationship that I really enjoyed and he was married. It was nice to hear that someone out there thought I was beautiful, but I already had someone to tell me that. Who knows what was going on in his household at that time, or what made him send that honesty box message? Casual little things like that, when followed up on, can lead to some pretty bad consequences (broken homes/relationships, etc.).
I’m not trying to over-dramatize the situation or put more importance on it than it should have, but it does show that Facebook can be a slippery slope. In the end what did I end up saying to this message?
Wow, are you sure you have the right person? Wasn’t aware that anyone had a crush on me…but that’s a beautiful compliment. Thank you!
I didn’t try to find out who he was or say anything meaningful back other than a thank you. I believe that everything happens for a reason, in its time, according to God’s purpose. I don’t think there’s anything I’m missing. Mr. Perfect and I have a good relationship. I’d rather watch movies with him falling asleep (and swearing he isn’t) beside me than be whisked around the world by some other guy. I don’t know what the future will bring, and as they say “ain’t no ring on my finger,” but I’m not looking for anyone else. But I can take a compliment. 😉
I hope you enjoyed this little interlude, and that it gave you something to think about. How would you deal with an ex or crush contacting you on Facebook or any other social media? Have you reached out to an old flame on FB? How did it go? Do you believe facebook has anything to do with relationships failing? Leave your two cents in the comments section or email me at 2blu2btru4u[at]gmail[dot]com.
Up Next in The Love Chronicles: Cyrano de Bergerac