Freestyle Friday: The Evolutionary Edition

Tags

blog, change, content, Freestyle Friday, lurkers, postaday2011, Random, subscribers

I was looking for a really cool evolutionary picture... ah well... Image via Wikipedia

I’m sure by now you’ve noticed that many of my posts from last month and this month have one thing in common: they are about the individual and his relationship to his/her own life. This has been very deliberate. Starting with my post The Season for Getting Serious, I wanted to focus my attention for the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 on myself (or yourself, if any of this can be applied to you). So, in case you were wondering what happened to all of those interesting posts on love, relationships, marriage, friendships, work relationships, and more of my randomness…they will be returning!

I checked my subscribers for the first time in months today, and have found that I went from eight to twenty-five subscribers for this site alone! Yes, my friends, blog world domination is in site, LOL. Seriously, thanks and welcome to all of those new subscribers…and to all of the lurkers who just read and never say anything–to me at least. I’ve been guilty of reading blogs and talking about them with people and not sharing the comment love with the blogger myself.

I’ve seen other bloggers ask everyone who reads to leave a comment; well, I won’t force anyone to that doesn’t want to, but I’m interested in a few things (pertaining to my blog or in general, please specify if necessary): What type of posts do you read? How do you read (subscription, email, google or other reader, bookmark)? How often do you read?

Changes are afoot, friends and neighbors. I’m going to make a separate page for my blogroll–and update it to actually reflect the blogs that I read and enjoy commenting on. I’m also getting rid of the twitter feed in favor of a simple button (suggestions on where to get one I can use in the free version of wordpress are welcome!). If you really want to know what I tweet about, you can follow me, right? I’m going to make room for a category cloud or listing, so if you really love TMPDKAM (Things Mr. P. Doesn’t Know About Me) posts, or you just love my Confessional posts, you can find all of them in one place.

Since I’m posting every day for the PostADay challenge here, and weekly for the PostAWeek challenge in both Copywrite1985, my writing blog, and 2blu2btru’s Reviews, my blog of movie, music, television, workout routines, food, and whatever else reviews, be sure to check back often for new content, send encouragement, tweet or email me feedback…whatever floats your boat or finds your lost remote. Oh, and if you have any thoughts from your cubicle you want to share, feel free!

XOXO

2blu2btru

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thoughts from the Cubicle: The whole “it’s 2 years later” thing was a big issue for people who watch “The Game,” wasn’t it? And color…should I post about it? Nah, then I’d have to watch the show. (They going to pull my card for this one)

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Stop Falling…Asleep

Tags

apology, excuses, fall, postaday2011, procrastination, sleep, Television

Sierra Mist wins... except in my living room. Image by Eric Kilby via Flickr

It’s actually 5 in the morning on the seventh. Yes, I missed a day this early. I didn’t want to ruin a nice post by placing this apology at the top, and I wanted to get back on track as soon as possible. I am in a sorority, and I pledged, so I know exactly what excuses are, but I do have an explanation for my early stumble.

After being profoundly productive at work today, I continued my productivity by paying bills, mailing letters, walking around my complex, and shelving a few more books. I organized the months bills and looked through everything I could lay hands on to find the two missing Netflix DVDs that I still have to send back (to no avail). Not feeling like cooking, I went to grab something to eat and talked to Mz. Trill on the phone until I got back. I sat in front of my TV watching “World’s Dumbest,” intent on watching for a while before posting and taking a bath.

After midnight I woke up, reached for my soda (hot and tasteless, as only Sierra Mist can become…Sprite would have held me down), then lay back and fell asleep again. I woke up again at three and managed to clear away my dinner remnants and get in bed. Two more hours of TV, I turned it off and tried to sleep. Realizing that wasn’t working, here I sit, explaining myself.

The goal, then, it to see if my On Demand works and get in a workout, post for today (the 7th), then get ready for work. I apologize for slipping so early, but I don’t intend for it to happen again, and I’m going to keep soldier on.

We fall down, but we get up,

2blu2btru

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Number’s Game

Tags

Chris Rock, honesty, intimacy, lies, number, postaday2011, Reproductive health, ridicule, sex, Sexual partner, Sexuality, shame, tough conversations, trust

Image via Wikipedia

A friend of mine and I were emailing today when the perfect topic came up for me to write about. What’s the number that people lie about the most in relationships? It’s a number that men inflate and women deflate. Some think it’s important while some never ask for it. Some people flaunt it, some hide it. It can determine how society views you and who’s interested in you.

I’m sure you’ve come up with some interesting answers to that question, and I want to hear all of them in the comments section. But the number I’m referring to is…

…ahem…

drum roll please.

(drums rolling)

…the number of sexual partners that you’ve had before your relationship. I wonder why that is, though. Is this number important to you? What does it mean to you whether I say ten or two?

There’s a famous joke by Chris Rock that says that men don’t really want to know how many guys their woman has been with before them because no matter what she says it will be too much. Of course, this doesn’t take into account those women who can honestly say they haven’t slept with anyone, but seriously, do guys really want to know?

What about women? Do you want to know? Why do you want to know?

I know there are many different reasons to ask the question: a person wants to take their sexual health seriously. That’s a great reason. But there are some of those other issues that come up with this that REALLY cause people to ask that they don’t want to admit to. You may decide someone is too loose, to timid and not sexually adventurous, won’t be able to please you, or has pleased to many people. You may find your partner’s experience intimidating. You may start wondering down the path of was so and so better at whatever? 

Why don’t people tell the truth? Because they’re ashamed, afraid to lose their mate? Because people won’t take the time to get to know them once they know?

I’ve experienced all of those feelings myself. Sex is an intimate, intricate association that you’re never quite rid of. Whether you want to own up to it or not, it has a big impact. Whether or not you consciously compare your various experience or lament your inexperience, people are thinking and feeling some type of way about this issue, but many forget about the important issues of honesty and trust.

I’m proud of my number. It’s exactly the number I should have. Do I still have moments of trepidation when I think about the future? Yes. I’ve been passed over because of my number. I’ve been ridiculed because of it. I’ve been made to feel like I was less of a woman because of my number. But at the end of the day, it’s important to me to keep my number exactly where it is until I can, without shame, up it by 1. I’m protective of it.

What led me to this? A while ago someone informed me that someone was saying that they had slept with me. Now, it wasn’t true, but it opened up a wide range of possible consequences. There were mutual acquaintances, my reputation, and my current relationship involved. The integrity that I’d built up, the times that I’d resisted doing things I shouldn’t, the trust I’d forged in my relationships–all in question, over someone I spoke to twice in my life. It hurt me. It made me angry. But it also brought back to mind the question of numbers and whether it really matters.

If you read the portion of the marriage kit interview I post of one of my church’s elders, you will notice he says something very profound about what people ideally should know before they get married and what they shouldn’t. Sometimes, life happens. We transgress. We repent and are forgiven. But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened, nor that we can escape the consequences, whether it’s missing out on people we wanted, being overlooked, ridiculed. We all have to live with our choices.

I’m not going to ask anyone to give me their number, but I would like to know your thoughts on the subject. I would LOVE to hear from some men on this especially. Leave your two cents after the beep.

BEEP!

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• The Importance Of Communication In Relationships (stepbysteptips.com)
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The Getaway, Or Straight, No Chaser

Tags

freedom, getaways, jail, life, PIT maneuver, police chase, postaday2011, rearview mirrors, road, Spike strip, what's chasing you

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?... Sorry... Image via Wikipedia

When I went to lunch today, there was a breaking news story about a police chase in Southern Florida. High speed chases amaze me, or I guess “fascinate” me would be a better word. I mean, the participants have to know there’s a slim chance of getting away, and even if they give the police the slip today, they’ll most likely be caught later.

What amazes me most is when the police call ahead and shut down the highway. There’s just one SUV being chased by a dozen police cars. These have got to be the best and worst driving conditions you could ever experience in life: nothing but open road before you, no little old ladies in Saturns in the fast lane or Old Marines in Lincolns clogging up the middle lanes. There are no Kamikaze mini-vans with Baby on Board stickers in the back window that drive like they are in the Daytona 500. The only real obstacles are the occasional spike strips or cruisers bent on T-Boning you (I believe they call it a PIT maneuver–random: is maneuver not the most difficult word to spell?). What better time to think about the choices you’ve made in life? Right?

Seriously, I wonder about the person in that fleeing car for a while while I munch my sandwich, then realize with a jolt it’s me. I’m that fool going a hundred miles an hour on an empty turnpike running away from the police. That is, that’s me, metaphorically speaking. This begs the question: What’s chasing me?

There are times in life when the way has been cleared for you and you’re on the road seemingly by yourself. There are no obstacles in front of you and you are in the driver’s seat. Maybe you know exactly where you’re going, maybe you’re operating on instinct and adrenaline; either way, you’re going as fast as you can. The only thing that can stop you from reaching this hazy place of safety in the distance looms large in your rearview mirror, trying to catch up to you and bring you down. No matter how you try to shake it, it always seems to be there, shadowing your every move, closing the gap between you and it. You’re so busy looking behind you in your rearview mirror for threats, you don’t see the spike strips that are being thrown out in your path.  

There are some situations, circumstances, or mindsets in life that are chasers. A major chaser is the past. There are things we want to forget and outrun now that we’ve changed, but we can’t seem to distance ourselves from those things. Our past is constantly chasing us down, threatening to spin our lives out of control. Maybe for you it’s depression, the fear of failure, or your own timeline for accomplishing things that has you on the run. Maybe you are running from your bad choices in men, your irresponsible ways with money, or a crippling addiction you were once swayed by.

Don’t you know that you rarely ever get away? Even if you do manage to shake it for a while, you will almost always get caught. The longer it takes for you to get caught, the longer you are looking over your shoulder, anxious and worried about being caught. The longer you run, the longer you’ll be looking behind you instead of in front of you. So what do you do?

You turn yourself in. You submit to the  judicial process. You confront your accuser. You state your case. And if you have to, you do your time.

Now, before you think I’m telling you to pick up a pipe or a “peeps” and fall back into old habits, STOP RIGHT THERE. I don’t mean surrender to what’s chasing you. I mean go through the system and win your freedom. Because you only think you’re running from the bad, but you’re also running from your solution. If you won’t acknowledge you’re addicted, you can’t get rehabilitated. If you don’t acknowledge you’re depressed, you can’t get treated. If you don’t acknowledge that you’re afraid to trust anyone, you can’t learn how to begin to tell the trustworthy from the untrustworthy.

Maybe that means you have to go to jail–you know, that place when you have nothing to do but spend time with yourself and work on yourself. It’s not fun, but it can be the past thing that ever happened to you. I’ve seen people go to jail and start to educate themselves through the prison library, or start taking care of their bodies through exercise. People really confront themselves and the things that have been chasing them.

Rearview mirrors are by nature distorted; you can’t see the whole picture, and nothing is as far removed from you as it appears. You need to stop limiting your view of what’s behind you, as well as start looking in front of you.

Now, some of y’all out there can’t relate to this because you’re doing the chasing…but that’s for another post.

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Manuals & Other Ways to Impress at Work

Tags

efficency, following directions, manual, Motivation, negativity, perception, postaday2011, self-help, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, thoughts, thoughts from the cubicle, work

This is how working with computers can make me feel... Image by Ian Muttoo via Flickr

I pounced on my favorite tech guy as soon as I finished an assignment. “Busy?” I asked, patiently sipping my soda. “Yeah, what’s up?” I launch into an explanation of what I need: efficiency.

Since he’s been gone, my new assignment has been progressing slowly, mostly because I had to use a machine that was a communal one to perform my tasks, as I didn’t know how to use my own machine to do it. This necessitated me scanning in three to five inch thick binders of documents one page at a time–the largest one nearly nine hundred pages. This was time consuming, especially since there were a LOT of binders, and other projects waiting for me to get to them.

“I don’t have time to do anything about it today. But I think I still have the manual; you can play around with it.”

The manual?! No, no, no. This is why we have a tech department, so I don’t break any machines or cause any computer problems. I can’t just read the manual and figure it out. I don’t even know what I’m looking for. I make a joke with the receptionist on my way downstairs about my inability to do anything remotely technical, then set about figuring out which model my machine is and what technical mumbo jumbo pertains to it. Within ten minutes, I have the program doing exactly what I want it to do.

It’s a shame that our review structure has changed and I no longer get to give my opinion of why I’m so AWESOME! (OK, so maybe that wasn’t the intent of allowing us to add in our thoughts, but it’s as good an opportunity as any to toot my own horn, right?). I was all ready with my answer: I am awesome because I’m always brainstorming ways to get out of working so hard do my job more efficiently. Whenever I see a way to reduce the number of steps in the process or complete the job faster without losing the quality and accuracy, I get with someone and bring it about. But today, it was all up to me. Not only was it all up to me, but it was in an area in which I am admittedly unlearned and unsavy. Or am I?

It’s time to stop feeding myself these negative, untrue ideas. I mean, I’ve fussed around on computers to figure out how to do what I needed/wanted to do for years now. I can do anything that simply requires me to read and follow directions. I majored in English; if they can communicate it to me in English, I can figure it out without assistance.

My new desk calendar is “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” Today’s nugget of wisdom was something along the lines of examining the not only the world through our lense, but examining the lense through which we see the world. My lense has been clouded and colored with negative images of my own technical ineptitude, my inability to follow technical directions, my inability to do more than dream up the solution. I can figure out what I need to make things better, but I’m not the one that can enact the changes that need to take place. But none of that is true. I just don’t seek opportunities to be the change I want to see in my world. I can do it; I just have to attempt it.

I was proud of my accomplishment, even more proud to realize that just because I don’t know how to do something doesn’t mean I don’t have the skills to figure it out. Hopefully, I’ll remember this when I need to change a flat tire.

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With Arms Wide Open…

Tags

2011, balance, Lie to Me, NCIS, postaday2011, productivity, relaxation, Television

This is what I was trying to avoid today...fire ant colony! Image via Wikipedia

I’ve been having a rather productive day today, because I finally decided NOT to go with the flow with my car (OK, so it was kind of decided for me). My car has been a constant source of trouble lately, and I wanted to be more proactive about keeping it up, but I have been putting it off in favor of seeing to other things. I got a tire replaced that was in major need of a replacement last week, and I was supposed to do some things yesterday, but again, I was putting it off.

Then I suffered an infestation. Yes, an infestation. Little red ants were in my car! After I managed to kill them all, I began to clean the inside of the car. Then I took the car in to have the oil changed and the windshiel wiper blades replaced (two things that should have been done before the new year). Now my car’s interior is clean, it’s riding better, and I’m not dodging rain like Neo in the matrix (Well, at least not in my car).

I also got my laundry card today and set up my online account for my apartment. I’m getting my calendar all set up and making my first attempts to organize my apartment.

But I also have to remember to go with the flow a bit too, and to ensure that I don’t swing too fair into Type A personality mode. Yesterday was all about going with the flow. I made breakfast at noon, although I had been up for ages, for Mr. Perfect and I, who had been working from home. Then there was the NCIS marathon, Shutter Island, Panda Express, and episodes of Martin. It’s amazing what a marvel of nothingness I accomplished!

Today has been mostly about taking care of business, after my stomach settled down (last night’s Panda Express so late was a bad idea) and was able to get some rest, but the rest of the night is for relaxing. I’m thinking hot bubble bath after a few episodes of Lie to Me: Season Two. I’m still feeling a little gamey from the rough night, and I need to be at 110% for tomorrow, if I am to survive the day. Tomorrow will be laundry day and possibly gym day for me…followed by hot shower and rest the rest of the evening. I’m sure tomorrow’s post will actually be about something. 😀

Happy New Year!

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Day 1: Statement of Purpose

Tags

2011, bills, blogging, exercise, goals, money, NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Personal Finance, postaday2011, Prayer, reading, stress, writing

I am resolved... Image via Wikipedia

As I said in the previous post, this year’s word of the year is balance. Even though I have no problems with New Year’s Resolutions, I simply prefer to set goals for myself for the year. Many of last year’s goals remain unmet, but that doesn’t mean that I’m just copying and pasting them to this year. This year’s goals are all about bringing my life more into balance, and not just being accountable for things.

So, to that end, here are my goals for 2011:

• Write a blog post everyday: I had this goal before, and while I didn’t achieve it, I did notice that when I really tried, I was able to find many wonderful topic to write about, and writing often helped me track my progress on my goals.
• Finish my NaNoWriMo novel: I’m not going to set any hard goals for publications for this year. This year I want to get back to writing because I love it. I’ve sucked all of the joy out of writing when I’ve made the end goa publication rather than writing something I was proud of and was worthy of publication. I need to take one step at a time.
• Find someone I trust to critique my writing when I have a finished product: I need someone I can trust to look over the work and give me an honest opinion.
• Add in my stress reducing activities: These include exercise, walking, talking to friends, blogging, hot baths–anything that helps to relieve stress. I won’t use exercise as simply a means to lose weight, but as a way to relieve stress, be healthy, and promote positive feelings about myself.
• Keep an updated calendar of my bill dates and amounts, and plan each month for paying bills on time.
• Be more expressive of my appreciation when people help/support me.
• Read my Bible each day.
• Pray at least once each day.
• Cook meals at home at least four days a week.
• Take lunch to work at least four days a week.
• Visit and keep in touch with family more.
• Attend brother’s graduation.
• Make doctor’s appointments.
• Get a library card and read at least two books a month that aren’t Harlequin romance novels.
• Attempt (and complete) NaNoWriMo again in November.
• Continue and compile the “Season for Getting Serious” posts
• Start on two memoir ideas.
• Strengthen relationship with my father.
• transition my blog to a self hosted blog with trademarked banner/name, and ensure all materials are properly copywrited.
• Get furniture for my apartment.
• Find my other passions, and pursue them.
• Love more freely and trust in a deeper way.
• Increase my fellowship.
• Begin increasing my tithing.
• Shop more in the fresh produce section.

I’m sure there are a thousand and one other things that could be on this list, but this is a good start. I just have to remember to keep a healthy balance in this new year.

What are your New Year’s resolutions/goals? What strategies will you use to  help you achieve your goals?

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