Single Awareness Day 2017 & Other Non-Sequiturs

Tags

guest post, love, love chronicles, Single Awareness Day, Valentine, Valentine's Day

Sad Panda is sad.

It’s that time of the year where proposal season has its last big hurrah before it moves over and wedding season begins, friends. Anyone who knows me knows I love LOVE, and this year, despite my own epic fail in love, is absolutely no different. If you’ve read my book Altered before the Altar: Allowing God to Make You “Meet” to be Met, you know my motto is “Throw Rice, Not Shade.” I have no issues being happy for your engagements, weddings, new babies, or Valentine’s Day mush fest posts. What can I say? I’m a giver.

Speaking of giving, there’s something super awesome I want to give all my fellow singles in the lead up to Valentine’s Day. I’m a celebrator at heart, and being single has NEVER stopped me from participating (seriously, I’ve given myself the best gifts for Valentine’s Day a girl could ask for–candy, flowers, mixtapes, teddy bears, dinner and a movie, you name it). So I’ve decided to spread a little love in the lead up to the day many singles dread by sharing some love themed tales, interviews and op-eds filled with tips, tricks, and torpedoes for your day of love arsenal.

If you’ve been reading for a while, you already know I have some interesting tales for V-Day, like the time I went out on Valentine’s Day with 10 guys, my career as Cyrano de Bergerac,  or the time a guy told me he loved me and I said “what?” But you don’t know about the time my friend dated a guy with the nickname Chester the Molester (actually, I have two friends who dated two different guys with this unfortunate moniker), the first time I was serenaded by a guy, or what buses, bandannas, and Hershey’s Cookie and Cream bars have to do with my love life. I’ll bring on friends to share their funniest escapades, count down our all time favorite romantic comedies and love songs, even host a singles’ dinner and a movie mixer.

If all that doesn’t get you excited about the month of love, maybe this will: I’m running a special in my shop on Altered before the Altar and the study guide. Enter promo code LOVE at checkout, and get $5.00 off plus some fun free gifts with purchase until Friday, February 17. I’m also going to do a couple giveaways for a chance to chase your blues away with fun prizes. There may even be a free sneak peek into my next romance related release for those who participate.

Here’s to a whole month of love and happiness for all of us, friends!

XOXO,

Erica

Rejoicing & Mourning

Tags

achievement, comparison, discontent, empathy, faith, friends, goals, love, mourn, perspective, rejoice, writing

It’s been a busy week for me in the “rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn” life. One of my critique partners terminated her contract with her publisher and decided to self-publish her book after it had been released for a day. She found a cover designer and re-released her book very quickly. I’m so proud of how she handled the situation and acted so promptly to get it turned around. My other critique partner got an agent AND sold her book to Harlequin Love Inspired Suspense through their Killer Voices competition. Three books have been bought through the competition in two days! We’ve all been celebrating these writers and their achievements. The last piece of my writing circle, my beta reader, has been on vacation all week long relaxing in the sun with her love and his family. All around me, there are wonderful things happening.

In my soon to be published book for single women, I have what I’m calling an “in the meantime” section on being happy for others while dealing with discontentment. The bible tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice and to mourn with those who mourn, but what does that really mean? How can you be happy for someone when you aren’t happy with where you are in life? How can you mourn with someone when things are going great in your life? Why is this important?

Over the years, I’ve had a lot of experience in this area. I’ve survived many waves of engagements, weddings, and baby showers. I’ve seen several friends lose their mothers, fathers, or close family and friends. I’ve seen friends receive “the call” in publishing as well as many receiving rejections or getting burned by publishing deals that have gone bad. None of these things happened in a vacuum when NOTHING was going on in my life. I had to decide to be there for them while going through my own things.

The call to rejoice or mourn with others wasn’t written to punish us, to rub salt in wounds, or to make us feel superior to anyone else. It was to teach us empathy and to get outside of ourselves. In order to celebrate with others, I have to put aside my disappointments, which I was supposed to roll onto the Lord anyway. When you mourn with people, you begin to be grateful for what you have and stop coveting or being greedy to obtain. Both of these are things that WE need. It also shows us our hearts. When we are truly close to people, we want the best for them and we want to be there for them when things aren’t the best.

Two pieces of advice I give in the book is to truly get to know the people you fellowship with and to pray for others in positions you would like to be in one day. Getting to know people outside of their social media or the image they project, getting to see the hard work and dedication that they put into achieving will help you to be happy for them when they finally achieve their goals. It’s called investment. If you believe someone got a promotion they aren’t qualified for, instead of being upset, pray that they can acquire the skills to do the job. These two principles really shifted my perspective on getting engaged and getting married. I was able to get beyond what I wanted and truly see others. I was able to get the focus off of myself and my selfish wants and use my life to impact others.

You’ll have to wait for the book to get the other eight points. 😀

It’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride this week. I’ve been swamped at work because people are out, a tropical storm is threatening, all the work is hitting my desk at once, and the side hustle has picked up. Things are getting to be hurry up and wait with the book (got the cover artist–hurry up!; book is out with people to beta read–waiting!). My critique partners are kicking butt. Harlequin online community friends ALL seemed to have a book out this week (and my wallet is screaming at me to stop. Buying. Books). I am struggling to get words on the page. There aren’t enough hours in the day and at the same time there are too many hours in the working day. It’s been a week, people! But I’m so happy that I got to celebrate with my sweet friends, to focus on something other than this dragging, sagging, “I could have sworn it was Tuesday twice this week” week.

So stop being a wet blanket, a hater, a backbiter, complainer, covetous or envious fuddy duddy, or an arrogant, conceited, condescending showoff and take on someone else’s joys and hurts. Let’s grow together.

XOXO,

Erica

Who Wants to Be a Wife?

Tags

love, marriage, perception, relationships, stereotypes, wife

I spent a lot of time talking to married people for the marriage kit project and I spend an inordinate amount of time on the internet looking at stories, meme, and articles on relationships, love and marriage. As I continue contemplating my readiness for marriage, I have to admit that I don’t want to be a wife.

*record scratch* Say what, 2blu?

No, really. Wives get a bad rap. Between the “Game Over” t-shirts, the eCards of a man surrendering his credit card to a shopaholic wife, the ball and chain references, and the not-really-joking advice all married men give to those seeking to marry to just say “Yes, dear. I love you” to everything their wives say, wives are horrible people. I heard somewhere once that men don’t settle down; they surrender. They just give up.

Men who aren’t abstinent before marriage are scared off the idea with assertions that women will stop sleeping with them as soon as they get married. Men worry that once they make their women their wives, the women will pack on the pounds, sleep in a face mask and head scarf, and never cook again. They worry that once they have a child with her, they will be placed on the back burner, if not thrown out altogether. Who would sign up for that kind of treatment? And who would want to be that woman?

I don’t want to be the other type of wife that people mock, either. I don’t want to try to be Martha Stewart in stilettos. I don’t want to eat like a rabbit and workout like an actress with a nude scene coming up out of fear I’ll lose my husband if I’m not built like an 18-year old Amazon. I don’t want to put who I am aside and focus solely on being a wife–not having any hobbies or anything to do when I’m on my own, neglecting the things of God in favor of serving my husband, etc. I don’t want to be hopping on one foot barking like a dog (word to Coming to America & Vanessa Bell-Calloway).

I know some incredible women who seem to be great wives. Their husbands seem very happy with them. But the unifying theme is that they are all older Christian wives. When I talk to them, their priorities are very different than the woman of today. But so are their husbands. Neither the husbands nor the wives view marriage as the end of their lives. But it’s rarer to find that these days.

I think it’s easy to get carried away with stereotypes or wanting to convey that marriage is work. People want others to think critically before they commit themselves to another person for life, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the way that they present marriage doesn’t inspire me to want to get married.

I don’t want to be thought of as some soul crushing, brow beating, never satisfied, fat, lazy woman who’s trying to trap a man before showing her true colors. I also don’t want to have to change everything I am to be seen as a good wife, or feel my marrying or marriage is contingent upon me crossing every “t” and dotting every “i” while cooking dinner dressed in a string bikini and stilettos.

That’s my two cents, anyway. Feel free to leave yours in the comments section.

XOXO,

Erica

Are You Really Ready?

Tags

introspection, love, marriage, marriage preparedness, relationships

I’ve been thinking during my time away from all things love about whether or not I’m really ready to take that next step. I watched a couple YouTube videos where people describe their deal-breakers, and the male perspective stuck out to me. It wasn’t just the particular things that he focused on that stuck out but how I would have measured up on his scale.

To be honest, this guy isn’t my type (great since he’s married), but the things that he said sound a lot like Mr. Perfect. Ignoring a perfect opportunity to branch out into how men are simple creatures (which is the truth wrapped in a lie sealed in an enigma in itself), I focused in on whether or not I could meet those things for Mr. Perfect. Then I thought about if I would want to.

One of the things that has come up a lot is the purpose of getting married. We’ve been hearing a lot of messages on the fact that marriage is not to make you happy. It’s not for you; it’s for the other person. It’s to illustrate the relationship between God and his church to the world. It’s for having and raising children to be God-fearing adults who model Christ for the world. All of which is wonderful and true, but none of which speaks to why anyone in their right mind would sign up for yet another thankless task like being a wife and mother. At this point, with this criteria, I could marry any guy that loved the Lord, wanted to get married and tickled my fancy. Marriage may not be about my continual happiness and may be intended to show Christ’s relationship to His church, but it should mean something to me that makes the trials and hardships that accompany it worth it. There should be something that sets my husband apart from everyone I could have chosen to live out this life with, that makes having to consider and care for him more than showing me how to submit to Christ’s will. I can be an example for the Lord single. I can be content single. I can help raise children in the Lord by teaching Sunday School, working with youth, speaking at youth conferences, and a multitude of things that have nothing to do with getting married and having babies. We can be good Christian men and women single. So when I think about if I’m ready to be married, I first think about why I should be married at all, or even if I should be married.

But I’m beyond that hurdle. I desire to be married. I want to have that one on one relationship with someone where I can love on them, care for them, pray for them, grow with them. I want the spiritual, emotional, physical and material benefits of such a relationship. But am I ready for it? Am I ready to be a submissive wife to my husband, to refrain from using manipulation to get my way? Am I ready to concern myself with another’s needs and wants, to buy into their dream and support them in it even when I don’t know how it’s going to work out? Am I ready to keep a house, both in a spiritual and physical sense? Am I ready to look the part, to be a beautiful crown? Am I ready to commit to someone else and their life decisions? Am I ready to be provided for to the best of his ability, to budget much more rigidly than I currently budget in order to ensure our family is financially fit? Am I ready to agree to go where he goes? Am I ready to be his biggest cheerleader? Am I ready to deal with family and friends and well-meaning associates who try to track their timelines, agenda and discord into our home and family? Am I ready to tow the party line and present the united front even if I disagree on the final decision? Is anyone ever really ready for all of that?

Maybe it’s best to get married when you are certain that the two of you can do life together and are confident this person is the right choice, not when you have all the answers to all of the questions. I used to be certain and optimistic, but having all of these years to consider, and all of this time to grow used to living to please God and myself without sharing my home and body have added dimensions to the discussion that weren’t present before. I believe that certainty and optimism, coupled with a strong faith and a certainty of being in God’s will for your life is so necessary for making a marriage work. I’m not saying go into marriage with rose-colored glasses, but I’m finding the longer it takes to make a decision, the harder it is to make. I think some of the areas I worry about my abilities in would be just fine if I were married. We’d figure it out together. It’d be a funny story to tell, one of those misadventures that start new chapters in your love story. As a still single person, they can turn into just another reason you’re still single, something you have to fix and perfect before you get married. I’m not sure if I’m even making sense, but these are the things I think about.

The biggest worry it’s hardest to fight at this point is the “what’s wrong with me?” worry. If you last five years on my job, you get an extra five days of vacation a year (which I will achieve this year in June!). If you are with Progressive’s auto that long, you get diamond status, where they’ll forgive minor accidents, lower your rate, and treat you like royalty. Longevity is positive in these arenas. But being in a relationship for six years and not moving for to marriage when you both agree that marriage is something you want is not a good thing. The thought continues with the observation that there’s obviously something that’s holding up progress. And what if that something is me, or something about me? What’s big enough to keep us from moving forward yet not big enough to break us up? That’s not to say that the problem has to be me or even my problem, but after all this time, it feels like it is. If we were both happy and content with where we were, then it wouldn’t be an issue that we aren’t moving forward. If I wanted someone to go to the movies or eat an occasional meal with for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have a problem not moving forward to marriage.

But I’m honest enough with myself to concede that I want to have sex, to snuggle in bed on Saturday mornings, to make a house into a home, to cook and clean for my family, to go on vacations and plan a future together, to help my husband achieve his life goals, and maybe have a child or two somewhere along the way. An if this isn’t that, then there’s no need to continue down this road.

I bought Baggage Claim on blu-ray/DVD. In it, Djimon Hansou is a wealthy businessman who charms Paula Patton’s character. He’s funny and charming and well-traveled, and he wants her to travel the world with him. But he doesn’t want marriage. In the end she knows he’s not going to give her what she really wants and she lets him go instead of wasting their time. He respects her decision. I love that many of the men in the movie aren’t wrong, they’re just not right for her. There’s nothing wrong with going after the love you want and the person you want it with. I need to love the old geezer in the rocking chair beside me as much as I need to be all in with the seven pack wonder with big dreams and stars in his eyes.

I’m going to stop now. I am going to step away from the rom-coms and the keyboard. But I would be interested in hearing how you all have dealt with similar issues. What’s your two cents on marriage, how long you should date, your reasons for marriage, or story of a love you left behind because you knew it wouldn’t ever be what you needed it to be?

XOXO,

Erica

Changing Seasons

Tags

Birthday, faith, goals, love, progress, relationships, thoughts

This month, I’ll turn 29. Where has the decade gone?! Whenever it gets close to my birthday, my natural tendency to be introspective turns up a notch. I start to evaluate how the previous year had gone and decide what I want to accomplish in the next. My birthday, not New Year’s Day, is where the year starts for me. So this is a season of introspection and deep thought for me.

Y’all, I am so excited that Valentine’s Day marks the official end of the unofficial proposal season. That may sound strange coming from me, hopeless romantic and proponent of love that I am, but it’s true. I have really struggled the last couple (or few…our four) proposal and wedding seasons. I’m happy to like all your posts and attend all your weddings, but my own lack of progress in this area has really weighed me down. So I’ve taken time away from delving deep into the subject of relationships and stop following the blogs, TV shows, Instagram posts, etc. I’ve had a lot of downtime to pull away and think about what it is I want and need from my relationship, but the main purpose was to do something else, to think about something else. I can honestly save I’ve not only loved not being bombarded with others happily ever afters, but I’ve accomplished a lot toward other dreams I have.

Since October, I’ve done so much toward my goal of becoming a published author that it feels like it should have been a much longer period of time. This month, in honor of the new beginning my birthday symbolizes, I’m submitting my writing. I’m not sure if I will get a bite from an agent through Blind Speed Dating, or send directly to publishers afterwards, but someone besides my coworker, crit partners & Mr. Perfect will be reading my writing.

Reviewing has been going well, both for myself and for Harlequin Junkie. I love giving my opinion on the latest books and can’t wait to move forward with bringing my plans of publishing my own work to the masses. I want to thank so many of you for following my progress with writing and reviewing, and believing in me. I can’t wait to releases book worthy of your wait.

I have to get back to work, but I’ll write more reflections, and more themed posts, as the month wears on.

XOXO,

Erica

It (Was) Our Anniversary!

Tags

anniversary, Christianity, Intimate relationship, love, reflection, relationships

Thursday marked six years of dating for Mr. Perfect and I–six years! I’ve thought about what I’ve wanted to say about that fact off and on for the past few days, and so far my thoughts have been a giant jumble of disjointed musings in a disjointed pattern similar to the world’s largest rubber band ball (multi-colored rubber bands, of course!)

I would argue that Mr. Perfect and I are two of the most informed courters ever to be stuck at the courting phase. Scratch that. I would venture to say that we are probably more knowledgeable than some people who are engaged, and even some married people. We have worked our butts off to optimize our communication skills and have seriously pondered the implications of moving forward in our relationship. It’s been a long, tedious journey to this level of our relationship.

For anyone still unfamiliar with our story, a brief overview: we met through a then mutual friend over six years ago, who noted our similar Christian faith and intelligence (and the fact that I thought he was hot–let’s be honest here); we added each other on Facebook (sight unseen), then quickly moved to emailing each other, and eventually talking on the phone and visiting; Mr. Perfect moved here from Chicago with his job about seven months into our relationship; I graduated college, got a job, lost a job, lost an apartment, lost a stepfather, and lost a car before getting my equilibrium back; my perfect had car troubles, his car quit, he got a new car, he was stuck in a lower position at work (with many restructures and deferred reviews), and one of his grandmothers passed before he was able stabilize himself; we started to pay more intense attention to our relationship, including two different pre-marital counseling programs, recurring marriage and family workshops at church, and work on the marriage kits; Mr. Perfect met the rest of my family and my high school friends when he returned to Michigan with me for my ten-year high school reunion, and; we’ve supported each other all along the way.

It’s hard to reflect on the last six years and not think about all of the people who will never see us married or moving on, people who meant a lot to us as individuals and to our relationship.  It’s hard not to think that at least some of this time has been wasted or at best misappropriated. It can become difficult to accept that this is as far as we’ve gotten in all of this time.

But what I do know is that everything has happened under God’s control and grace. We’ve committed ourselves to leading our relationship by biblical principles and personal morals that have shaped us as individuals and as a couple. We have given ourselves the space and time to grow into the people we were meant to be, and have started to walk in the callings we have been given. It’s amazing to see the levels we’ve reached and the support we’ve been able to give one another.

Do I sometimes wish that we were farther along, that we had committed ourselves to one another forever in the sight of God and man? Absolutely. It is easy to think that a lot of the support we have provided to each other is sowing into someone else’s future that quite possibly has nothing to do with our own, that we will never see that harvest, let alone reap it. But I know that all things are in His control and happen on His timetable.

If we don’t end up married, we have seen each other through some of the best and worst experiences of our lives. Our interactions have helped us to recognize our flaws and shortcomings as well as our strengths. Our relationship has bettered us as individuals. Most importantly, we have cultivated a connection God’s way, and if it doesn’t end in marriage, we can each walk away bruised but not broken, secure that we have saved the best of ourselves for the person we will one day marry.

But I have a good feeling that Mr. Perfect and I will get there someday–to engagement, marriage, a family of our own that advances the will of God. This relationship is so much more than I thought it would be over six years ago when we were introduced. The story of us has taken many twists and turns that neither of us has expected. But the fact that the hand I am holding has never let go of mine is assurance enough that I’m right where I should be.

Here’s to many more years (hopefully married ones, ahem), Mr. Perfect. I love you.

XOXO,

Erica

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Book Review: Stealing the Preacher by Karen Witemeyer*

Tags

Crockett, faith, God, Historical romance, Joanna, love, Preacher, Silas Robbins

I don’t usually read historical fiction, not even historical romances. When I think of historical romances, I think of Victorian era women in a thousand yards of drapery and feathered hats fainting while scallywags in top hats attempt to ravish them. That just isn’t my thing. But there was just something about the premise of Stealing the Preacher that made me want to take a chance on it. I’m glad I did.

For his daughter’s birthday, former outlaw Silas Robbins kidnaps aspiring minister Crockett Archer off a train. Even though Silas doesn’t know what his daughter could possibly want with a preacher, he is determined to get one for her. Crockett was on his way to Brenham seeking to be appointed minister of the local church by the elders. He tries to run away from his captors and get word to the leadership in Brenham that he has been delayed. Upon meeting Silas’ daughter, Joanna, Crockett learns that Joanna wants a preacher to help her save her father’s soul and resurrect the area’s church. He admires her dedication to her father and her faith, and uses his delay to preach a sermon for her birthday. He promises that he will help her find a preacher for the church, perhaps the gentleman he is competing against for the position of Minister at the Brenham church. While considering all that has happened, Crockett begins to think maybe he is the preacher that God is sending to resurrect Jo’s church. There’s certainly something about this woman that pulls at him. What does God have in store for him?

Using my romance novel review rubric, this is how Stealing the Preacher fared:

1. Main characters I care about. I fell in love with Crockett Archer from his introduction, and Jo’s earnest faith and love for her father, along with her self-consciousness won me over I liked their dynamic together. I thought the supporting characters were really strong as well: Silas and his “gang,” who are retired from train robbing and living out their days working a ranch; Holly, the local beauty in hot pursuit of the new minister; Jackson, the young boy in love with Joanna who Crockett takes under his wing to mentor, and; the Marshall trying to get Crockett to identify his kidnappers and bring them to justice for reasons of his own. Every character was well written. Even if you didn’t like them, you couldn’t stop reading them.
2. Unique ways of throwing the main characters together. I don’t know if it gets any more unique than being stolen off a train and brought to a woman on the end of a rope like cattle. The further delays to Crockett’s departure and all of the ways that Crocket and Jo are placed together, while not as dramatic as their initial meeting, served their purpose.
3. A sweet reveal of their true feelings for one another. Talk about a lot of drama! The reveal of their feelings for one another happened earlier in this book than in others. It was indeed a sweet moment that made me tear up a bit. But the more public declaration was so harrowing and dramatic I thought I might faint before I got through flipping all the pages. Without giving anything away, Joanna and Crockett earned even more of my respect for their poise in that scene!
4. Make me feel as if I haven’t missed out on the best part of the journey. I hated to see the end of this one. I could have kept reading about Joanna and Crockett into the beginnings of their family and beyond. However, the meat of the story was shared. There was nothing left but more falling action. I didn’t miss the best parts of the journey at all.

Overall, I am in love with this story. I loved the characters and the way that Ms. Witemeyer weaves God throughout this work in a way that feels authentic. God was another character in this story; His will was sought and accomplished even by characters who didn’t know carrying out his plan. I love that Ms. Witemeyer didn’t bog me down in petticoats and parlors, but let her characterization and plot take me on a ride. I think this is the best romance I’ve read in a long time, Christian or otherwise.

I highly recommend you pick up this book.

Stealing the Preacher: ****/**** for characterization, plot, good employment of faith and God in the work, a dramatic climax, and nary a petticoat or a parlor.

XOXO (and happy reading!),

Erica

*I was given a free kindle version of this book to review. No compensation was provided for this review.

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My-So Called Life as a Submissive Wife Review on The Season for Getting Serious

Tags

love, marriage, My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife, relationships, Sara Horn, submission

Hello, Dear Readers!

I finished reading My So-Called Life as a Submissive Housewife and posted my review over at The Season for Getting Serious Blog. I think that blog is a better fit for this book as it is a Christian book. However, I am aware that some of you love to get my Christian view of relationships, and I figured you might be interested in reading another author’s perspective of a thorny issue. Therefore, I’m providing you with a little excerpt of my review to enjoy.

“I can think of at least two types of people who do not need to read this book. These include women who already feel like they have a strong grasp on what it means to be submissive to their husbands and women who are looking for a clear, concise guide or handbook with steps, charts and footnotes on what it means to be submissive to their husbands.”

This is how Sara Horn begins introducing My So-Called Life as a Submissive Housewife to her readers. She lets the reader know immediately that she is sharing her personal experiences in much the same way as she did with her first book, My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 wife. These two books chronicle year-long experiments undertaken by Ms. Horn in an effort to live up to the qualifications of a wife as written in the Bible. They read like getting a glimpse into a woman’s personal diary as she struggles to make sense of her role as a wife as defined by God’s word.

When I read the introduction to this book, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. The introduction sets the tone of Sara’s writing (humorous and serious in turns), sets the expectations (not a step by step instructional but an honest account of one woman’s year long quest to learn to be a submissive wife), addresses the sociocultural climate in which she is writing, and tells us why this subject is important to us spiritually. I knew that this book, if nothing else, would at least be well written and edited.

You can continue reading this review at The Season for Getting Serious.

Book Review: Kissing the Maid of Honor by Robin Bielman

Tags

Entangled publishing, Kissing the Maid of Honor, love, review, romance

As I mentioned in my previous post, there are a few criteria that I have for a really good romance novel:

• Main characters I care about.
• A believable impediment to them being together.
• unique ways of throwing the main characters together.
• A sweet reveal of their true feelings for one another.
• Make me feel as if I haven’t missed out on the best part of the journey.

I will be basing my evaluation of this book, and all romance books that I review, on this criteria.

In Kissing the Maid of Honor, Sela Sullivan is trying to be the best maid of honor ever for her best friend, Vanessa Watters. This is impeded by her dislike of her best friend’s brother, Luke (who also happens to be Sela’s brother Shane’s best friend). As much as she loves the Watters family, she can’t forgive Luke for humiliating her ten years earlier. Being a good friend, she resolves to tolerate Luke over the course of the wedding, making a wish that he stays as far away from her as possible. This is complicated by the fact that Luke has to stand in for the best man when he is unable to make it. As the maid of honor and best man, Sela and Luke will have to spend a lot of time together. The more time they spend together, the more undeniable the attraction between them becomes. Can they overcome the hurts of the past and get along long enough to make Vanessa’s wedding a success? What will happen after the wedding?

Of course, there are more complications. Luke, an extreme sports photographer, is only in town for the wedding. He is hiding a recent injury from his family. His best friend Shane will kill him if he finds out Luke is attracted to his baby sister. Vanessa and the other women in her family don’t want Luke to be with Sela, either. Sela, a nurse, learns about Luke’s injuries and has to keep it a secret, as well as a secret of her own.

Using my aforementioned rubric, this is how the book fared:

• I loved the characters. Not only did I love Sela and Luke, but I really liked the supporting characters of Shane, Vanessa, Erin, and the baker, Meredith. The author did a great job creating characters that typify small town living, but were fully fleshed out as well.
• By creating such dynamic characters, it was easy to see many of the obstacles that kept them apart. Then tension creating between what Sela and Luke felt for each other and the loyalty they felt to their friendships was a believable impediment. Their past history and the danger of Luke’s profession coupled with Sela’s experiences of losing patients also caused believable tension.
• I felt it was unique to have Luke’s secret injury be part of what draws them together, as well as all of the wedding related duties. It was interesting that the same thing that was bringing them together could also drive them apart. When Sela realizes the danger that Luke puts himself in for his job, how could she love him in the face of possibly losing him each time he goes on assignment?
• I didn’t really like the way Luke revealed his feelings for Sela. I didn’t see any real risk to him confessing his feelings then. He is a charismatic guy; it would have meant more for someone wasn’t to have done it this way.
• I did feel like I got to see the best parts of their story told. I didn’t feel as if I was missing out on anything.

Other things I liked about the story were the elements of the wishing well and the kissing booth. I like the stories that were written about Luke in the paper and how they influenced their relationship.

What I didn’t like, other than the reveal of Luke’s feelings, was Sela’s secret. I didn’t think that it added to the story. I also thought that a few four letter words were used too liberally without adding to the dialogue.

Overall, this was a great quick read that made me care about the characters and wonder how they would resolve the various issues keeping them apart. The writing was of a high quality and kept my focus on the story rather than on other choices the author could have made with the story. The authors development of the minor characters has me hoping I will see them in future stories in this series, as well as getting to see Sela and Luke again.

Kissing the Maid of Honor: ***1/2/****; A- For character development, plot progression, overall engagement. Point deducted for a less than “aww” worthy, swoon inducing declaration of love.

(I was given a free kindle version of this book to review. No compensation was provided for this review.)

XOXO

Erica

Social Media Envy

Tags

love, relationships, romance, Valentine's Day

Today is the best day to make a statistical analysis of all of your social media friends. You can find the ratio of bitter, lonely singles to happily coupled people quickly. You can spot the people who think being anti-valentine’s day is deep and those who really just don’t want to drop $50 on flowers. You can tell who’s really happy with Jesus alone and who is eating a gallon of ice cream straight out the container while watching Love Jones or When Harry Mer Sally on repeat. It’s an amazing study in human nature.

Looking at what people write on their social media, though, doesn’t necessarily give you a true view of what’s really going on in their lives on a regular day, let alone a holiday. I once posted on my Facebook about people being such Scrooges at Christmas and got reamed for being insensitive because it’s not necessarily a happy time for everyone. I was referring to people trying to be deep and “hate on” the holiday, those annoying people who say things to get noticed rather than because they really have an issue. Celebrate or don’t, but stay off my page.

We all sign a social contract that says we can say what we want, but we have to respect everyone else’s right to say what they want. This is sometimes a very difficult thing to remember when someone expresses their disagreement with our opinion. We don’t, however, agree to divulge everything about ourselves or always state how we really feel.

We can put cute messages of live to our spouse on Facebook today and not relate how we “went upside their head” the day before. U can talk tough about independence and cry into my ice cream about not having a man. I can run my ex down on twitter and jump back in the bed with him without anyone being the wiser.

Why am I saying this? I want you to get real with yourselves. Be happy with where you are in life. Not mourning the past or anticipating the future, but content right now. Because that person whose twitter life you idolize might be worse off than you are. Because you only have right now. Because you are responsible for your own happiness.

What never ceases to amaze me is how many people don’t realize that their is no life achievement or person that will make you happy once for all time. Diamonds aren’t magic agents of change. Children will get on your nerves. A high paying job will need you to work a day you won’t feel like going in. Sustained happiness is a choice.

People may make fun of those single women who say they are married to Christ and waiting on God’s timing for a husband, but many of those women are happy and well adjusted to where they are in life right now. When your real life happiness matches your online happiness, then you have something to write about.

My absolute favorite blog is my favorite because of how real the writer is about her life. Some posts show her asking for advice on a parenting problem; others talk about a rough fight with her husband. I read about her grief in the loss of her father, and her decision to choose joy. If I saw her on the street (which is a possibility), I would feel like I knew her. Not just her awesome sense if humor or her perfect family photos, but her.

I say all of this to encourage you to take social media for what it is on days like today–a stage where everyone is auditioning to be the voice that tells you how you should feel, think & be. Cast your own life accordingly. That’s my two cents, anyway.

What is your social media envy? Is it personal finance blogs (my personal social media envy), fashion & beauty websites, super parent blogs, über religious twitter personalities, or celebrity Facebook fan page?

FYI: the new site is coming! I have the name picked out and am working with Tech Support (aka Mr. Perfect) on the finer points. I am buying the domain today, and will give it out via twitter tonight (@2blu2btru). I will have a grand reveal blog party tomorrow!